Stepping close, I said, “Where are you and your men expecting this path to lead?”
He blinked, giving the question some thought as if he’d never considered the real outcome before.
“An end, like everything else,” he finally answered.
“An end in death or an end in a cottage somewhere with a family? Peace and silence?”
“Perhaps a couple of my men want that one day.”
“They will never get it. Not if they decide to go back out there with us.”
“Dahila, speak plainly to me. We don’t have time to twirl around our truths.”
I bit my lip, pulling my hat off and letting my hair fall down my back. “For me, none of this ends well. I don’t see a family or a cottage or laughter. I see violence and tears and horror. I know you do, too. So, how ignorant do you think your men are of the fact that they are all going to die horrible deaths in the days to come? One mistake. One well planned move by sirens or xhoth and the Rose will join countless other ships at the bottom of the ocean.”
“You suggesting we stop altogether?”
“No.” I stared up into his eyes, watching my dream of his death replay over and over again. “Vidar, I am about to ask something of you that I have no right to, and I’ve come to the realization that if you refuse, I must continue my journey alone.”
His lips parted at that. Cocking his head to the side, he said, “Ask me,” as if my hesitation was a jest.
“These voices—these feelings—of his dark shadow looming over me constantly will only worsen. Perhaps it is a sickness. Perhaps it is madness. My mind playing cruel tricks on me. I am my mother’s age when she truly fell apart and became the monster we both knew. Maybe… Akareth has been real all along and every second he exists, the more he dominates my thoughts.”
“What can we do? Tell me.”
I pressed my lips together, my heart tender at the thought of dragging Vidar into the jaws of doom with me. When I did not answer him, he took my hand and led me into a space between two fishing shacks where fewer eyes were on us.
“I thought this went without saying,” he sighed, lowering himself to one knee before me. Then he leaned in, pressing his lips to the top of my hand, his stubble scraping against my knuckles. “I am your hunter. Your heart. Your blade. Use me as you will, Dahlia. I can sail any waters and kill any beast and I will drive myblade through whatever enemy your eyes fall on next, with or without the promise of coin.”
My eyes grew hot with tears. Sometimes I hated how soft he made me feel, but with him near, my armor always felt lesser as if I could shed part of it because he was my shield.
I swallowed, squeezing his hand. “I do not want you to die for me.”
He stood at his full height again, moving in so close, our bodies were touching. Pushing a knuckle under my chin, he forced me to look up at him.
“So brutal,” he whispered back. “My vicious siren. Yet your eyes glisten before me with pain I cannot seem to soothe. I’ll protect you and you’ll protect me. Remember that? That’s what we said to each other. I will be the sword at your front, and you will be the sword at my back.”
I took a deep breath and nodded. “I’ll protect you and you’ll protect me,” I repeated. “Whatever might come.”
When we arrived at the Rose, she seemed different already. The sails were rolled up tight, but her entire aura as a hunter’s ship seemed altered. I ascended the ladder onto her decks to find the rest of the crew going about their business organizing supplies and keeping the ship pristine. Meridan was sitting on the railing opposite us dressed in a thin, sleeveless shift. Her hair was still wet, so I was certain she’d only just gotten out of the water. Mullins was leaning up against the railing beside her, arms folded over his chest.
Gus was standing by the mast stroking his white beard. James. Boil. Billy. David. Almost everyone was standing around as if they sensed there was a serious discussion to be had. I breathed deeply, a knot of anticipation forming between my shoulder blades.
“Get the rest of the crew up here, would you, Billy?” Vidar said to the cabin boy.
Billy was spry. As a young teenager, he was starting to grow, but he was still scrawny and boyish in the face. He nodded, running down into the cabins to herd everyone topside. Once the deck was full of men, Gus spoke up.
“Out with it, cap’n,” he said. “We’re not going to drop the sails till we know where we’re going, I’d assume.”
“No, Gus, we’re not.”
He turned and took my hand, leading me up to the helm so all could see us. Leaning forward on the railing above the others, he skimmed over every single face staring up at us. I did, too. I knew all of them. Some more than others, but in the months following our departure from the northern waters, I cared about each of them in one way or another.
“Waters aren’t for humans anymore,” Vidar started. “They’re not for sirens, either. There’s a disease under the waves that’s spreading and we all know the few heads we bring in for a pocket full of coin now and then makes no difference.”
“Ain’t trying to make a difference,” someone said. “Just trying to put food in my mouth and whores in my bed.”
A couple followed him in a bout of laughter. Vidar smirked but didn’t join.
