The tenderness in her voice and the tears gathering in her eyes has me curling my hands into fists. “I didn’t bring you here for your pity,” I snap.
Delilah flinches, but doesn’t retreat. Instead, she takes a step toward me and covers my fists with her hands, her touch gentle.
“It’s not pity, it’s compassion. There’s a difference,” she says, her voice firm yet soft with emotion. “Compassion is understanding someone’s pain and empathizing with them, experiencing their feelings like they’re their own. My heart aches for you, Xavier.”
“That’s not why I brought you here. I wanted you to understand, to see—” I break physical contact with her by yanking back my arms, unable to bear her touch. Not when she’s looking at me like I’m fucking weak.
A tear escapes and rolls down her cheek. “What do you want me to see?”
If you could love me despite everything I am and everything I’ve done.
“To see all of me and not run,” I say.
She doesn’t respond, her silence cutting me deeper than any knife ever could. I turn away from her, ready to get the hell out of here, my body so full of tension my muscles ache from the strain of me being still.
“Showing you this place wasn’t the actual gift I was planning on giving you,” I say. “But seeing how fucked-up this turned out, I’m done.”
Before I can take a step, Delilah rushes me and throws her arms around my torso, pressing her forehead against my spine. “Xavier, please stop trying to push me away.”
“You should run.” I blow out a breath of frustration. And defeat. “But I’m so fucking selfish I won’t let you.”
I wait for her disgust or anger to appear, but all I hear is a soft sigh and the brokenness of her voice as her whisper grazes my ears. “I’m here, and I’m not running. ’Until death do us part.’ Isn’t that what you said to me during the Bride Hunt? Don’t break your vow to me. It’s the only thing in this world that makes me feel?—”
She buries her face in my back, her tears dampening my t-shirt. I grit my teeth in frustration, unsure of how to comfort her while knowing I need to.
“Fuck.”
I turn around and face Delilah. Then I grab the back of her neck to keep her still and use the other to clasp her chin, lifting it so I can see the truth lurking in her eyes. It’s always there, which is why she tries to hide it from me.
“What do you feel?” I ask her, my voice demanding and rough. My need to know, to understand, eclipses everything. If this woman has any tender emotion for me, I’ll use it, deepen it by any means necessary.
“When I’m with you, I feel seen,” she says. Her lips tremble with each word, her confession raw and broken. “I feel valued in a way I never have before. Don’t you get it? I’m so fucking scared because I don’t know how I’d live without it. I can’t go back to how I was before I met you.”
It’s as if she’s reached inside my body and ripped out my heart, exposing it to the cold air. It struggles to beat, the cadence uneven and rapid. Is this what love is? To care for someone so deeply that they can empower you or destroy you with one sentence?
Thisislove. Or my fucked-up version of it.
The vulnerability rushing through me is reflected in her eyes, the green irises bright with fresh tears. I stare down at her, and a pang streaks through my chest, piercing my soul that I didn’t know existed until the day I met my little raptor. She tore through my defenses and uncovered the humanity in me, the very thing my father set out to eliminate.
This girl has no idea how much I need her, how my very existence is dependent on her being alive and well.
My fingers tremble against her skin as I fight the urge to crush her against me, to feel her body pressed against mine so tightly that there’s no space between us. This is why fucking her brings me peace. It’s the one time we are whole, unified like my possessive nature demands.
“Fuck!” I briefly close my eyes, as if that’ll stop me from lusting after her. “I want to kiss you so badly right now. Like I’ll fucking die if I don’t.”
She stares up at me, her lips parting in invitation. “Then do it.”
I groan and take a step back, letting my arms fall to my sides, hands fisted. Doesn’t she understand that my obsession with her is the reason I’m rough when I fuck her, the reason I can’t get enough of her? Doesn’t she recognize the fact that her body is still healing, and if I hurt her, the guilt from that would ruin me?
I’m trying hard to be the man she deserves, not the one I am.
“You don’t get it,” I say, my voice harsh, my restraint fading. “If I kiss you, I won’t be able to stop myself from touching you everywhere. The very thought of you suffering because of me and my lust for you is the only thing keeping me in check. It’s the only thing preventing me from fucking the shit out of you like I want.”
Chapter 14
DELILAH
The tortured expression on Xavier’s face steals my breath. It’s full of a myriad of emotions. Most of them are severe and dark, yet there’s a hint of tenderness that makes my knees weak.
