His response is immediate.
After planting his fist in the pillow next to my hip, Xavier slides his fingers through my hair to grip the back of my head, angling it as he deepens the kiss.
When I kiss him back, he groans, the low sound vibrating against my lips. The pressure of his mouth on mine is intense, an intoxicating combination of power and dominance that has my senses reeling. He devours me, capturing the very breath from my lungs, stealing it to fuel his passion.
And I let him.
I give myself to him, allowing the kiss to consume us both. There are no boundaries, no barriers, nothing between us. The intimacy is so profound it makes my head spin and my chest ache. I don’t want to fall in love with Xavier Donovan.
But the descent into emotional vulnerability has already begun. And it’s gaining momentum.
When he pulls back, his breathing is ragged, similar to mine. His pupils are blown with lust, and the silver of his eyes gleams with buried emotion now lingering at the surface. Vulnerable and laid bare for me to see.
“Do you know what you do to me?” he asks.
I shake my head, my lips parted as I stare up at him. His gaze reflects the feelings ricocheting in my chest.
“You drive me fucking crazy with a single glance or a simple touch. So insane that I can’t stop thinking about you when you’re gone. It’s worse when you’re near because then I can’t help but touch you, wanting to claim every inch of your body with every part of mine. There’s no cure for the way I feel about you. And I don’t want one.”
I smile up at him. “You’re definitely a psychopath.”
“You’re the reason.”
“If you say so.”
He returns my smile with his own before he climbs on top of me, straddling my hips while being mindful of my wound. Then he grabs the headboard on either side of my head, caging me in completely.
“I’m going to fuck the shit out of you,” he says, nipping at my lips. “Once you’re healed, I’m not holding back. You might end up in the infirmary again.”
“Okay,” I say, breathless.
“Okay?” He arches a brow. “I’m serious.”
“So am I. It’s a good incentive to heal faster.”
His expression shifts, becoming serious. “But no golf cart?” When I shake my head, he frowns. “Then what type of gift will you accept?”
“I don’t want anything. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I’ve never had material things, and I don’t need them now.”
“It’s not about you needing them. It’s about me wanting you to have anything you desire. No matter how big or small.”
I reach up to trace the length of his jaw. He briefly closes his eyes at the contact and breathes deeply. Is he pleasured or pained by my touch?
“The things I want can’t be bought,” I whisper.
His offer to grant my deepest desires isn’t lost on me, but it won’t make a difference. My heart holds dreams too intangible for any amount of wealth to procure. Safety, love, and purpose.
Security is a basic concept, but it’s been so elusive in my life that I feel as if I’ve always chased it. Not just the absence of physical danger, but the safety to be myself, vulnerable and flawed.
This comes from love.
The true kind, unmarred by conditions or expectations. The type that sees through my walls, reaching into the depths of my soul where the real me resides. A love that chooses to stay, no matter the challenges.
And my purpose would be to protect this love and anything that arises from it. Whether that be a life together, children, or both. If I were to be safe and loved, I would do everything in my power to keep it.
Xavier offers a glimpse of what could be… If I were to give him my heart.
If the Order doesn’t destroy us first.
