Fatigue doesn’t stop my mind from racing, though, and all my thoughts are centered on Xavier. They range from excitement to anxiety until my nerves make my fingers shake. I’m looking forward to seeing him. I wish I could blame it on being alone all day, but I know that’s not it.
I miss him.
“Fuck me.”
I shake my head at my idiotic musings. I’m a psych major, so I think it’s safe to say I suffer from Stockholm Syndrome. If it’s not that, then it’s something deeper.
I’d rather be insane than in love.
The vulnerability that comes with such emotion scares the ever-living shit out of me. To give someone that much power over you? Hell no. Fuck no.
Yet… whenever I think about how Xavier is willing to die for me, I fall a little more for him.
The door clicks open, the tiny sound echoing in my head. I busy myself with scrolling on my phone like I haven’t been eager for him to return. He stands in the doorway, the light from the hallway framing his face and body. He looks like a guardian angel, all dark edges and violence.
He even has the tattooed wings to complete the image.
“Hey,” he says, his voice a low rumble that travels along my skin, making it warm.
“Hi.”
Xavier walks over to the bed and sits “Miss me?”
“What? No. What?”
His lips quirk up in a lazy smile. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes.’”
“It’s only because I’ve been alone all day.”
“Didn’t you rest between classes?” He leans over to pluck a strand of hair off my shoulder and rubs it between his fingers. “You showered. I wish you would’ve waited for me.”
The blush I’ve been fighting since he appeared comes rushing to my cheeks. “I had nothing else to do to keep me busy.”
His smile becomes sensual, his eyes gleaming. He tugs on my hair, pulling me a bit closer. “Well, next time, remember that I’m happy to wash every inch of you.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” I clear my throat. “So, how’d it go with Professor Ames?”
Like I splashed freezing water on him, the playfulness in Xavier’s body language shifts to something cold. “I called you, didn’t I?”
“Yes,” I say slowly, “but I wasn’t sure if that caused any issues. He’s not exactly my biggest fan.”
“I know.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Xavier drops my hair. “At first, I thought your association with Ben was the reason you ended up in the Bride Hunt. Turns out Ames is the reason you’re on the Order’s radar.”
“I knew those accusations were bullshit. There’s no way he could prove I willingly helped someone cheat.” I throw up my hands in exasperation and immediately regret it when the movement tugs the skin around my wound. “My academic advisor was in on it. I fucking knew it.”
I pull in a lungful of air and breathe it out slowly, counting backwards from five. I never start at ten because by the time I get to one, I’m usually pissed off all over again since it took too long to get to the end.
“Doesn’t surprise me,” Xavier says. “The founding families have always stuck together. Even the ones who aren’t directly part of the Order’s operations.” He pauses. “Are you all right?”
“Yes.”
“Your face says otherwise.”
“Ignore it.”
