I’m going to fuck the shit out of her when she’s recovered.
I’d give anything to be inside her, to erase the horror of the Trial by losing myself in her body, but I can’t right now. So, Ikneel and slide her hospital socks off one at a time, taking extra care not to jostle her. She doesn’t speak, not even to thank me.
This girl always has a million questions to ask me and some smart-ass thing to say. But right now, she’s withdrawn, hiding in the recess of her mind where I can’t follow. I fucking hate it.
Her breathing is shallow, and she’s clutching the bed sheets so much that her knuckles are pale. I look up, expecting her to glare at me, but Delilah’s gaze is unfocused. Is she still pissed? Or is she in pain?
The idea of her suffering furrows my brow as I take her hand, still on my knees before her. “Hey.”
She blinks and drops her gaze to mine. “What?”
“Talk to me,” I say, keeping my voice low and soothing. It’s like coaxing a wild animal that’s ready to bolt.
She swallows, and the subtle movement of her throat catches my attention. It’s so feminine, so delicate.
I slowly get to my feet and brush my thumb along her jaw, marveling at her softness despite having touched her several times. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to it.
“What do you want me to say?” she asks.
“I know you’re still mad. Tell me what’s bothering you.”
She stares at me. “Your behavior is a problem.”
“You’re going to have to be more specific,” I tease, using her words from the past.
“You’re a psychopath.”
Her statement doesn’t affect me. I know I’m not reacting the way she expects. Delilah thinks remorse and guilt are the same thing, but to me, they’re not. I’ll never apologize for saving her life, but I certainly feel the claws of guilt slicing into my psyche every time I picture her face contorted in pain. Branding and stabbing her were not my choice. Protecting her is.
“Is that really how you see me?” I ask, more curious than offended.
“Yes. No. I don’t know.” She shakes her head and blows out a breath. “You’re complicated.”
“How so?”
“You stab me, but then you say that it’s to save my life while refusing to leave my side. You tell the Order I’m your property, but you treat me like I’m someone important. Everything about you is a contradiction.”
I shrug. “I can’t explain to you what I don’t fully understand myself.”
I was brutal and ruthless before I met her. But now? I don’t have any limitations on what I’d do for her. Love is fucking insane.
Why does this intense emotion make me do the things I do? Say the things I say? I’ll never know. The only certainty in my life is that Delilah is the only woman I’ll ever feel this way about.
“That’s not good enough, Xavier.”
“It’s going to have to be.” When she opens her mouth, I cut her off by placing a finger on her lips. “I can tell you’re in pain. Do you need some medication?”
She nods, her eyes still carrying a hint of discomfort. I grab the bag and retrieve the bottle of pills, along with a glass of water. After a brief moment of hesitation, she pops the tablets in her mouth and swallows them.
“I’m going to take a shower.”
“Not without my help.”
Her breath comes out in a rush. “Um, I think I can do it.”
“I’m sure you can.”
I place my hands on her knees and grip the hem of her gown. Then I slide the material up her thighs until I reach her waist. She blushes and averts her gaze, but her shyness doesn’t deter me. Just like her inner fire, her moments of submission are a drug to me.
