“Sure. It’d be nice to have something besides coffee for once.”
Ben walks over to a mini-fridge, grabs a soda, and hands it to me. I take it with a smile and settle on the edge of his mattress. “Can I ask you something?”
He frowns. “You know you can ask me anything.”
I trace the rim of the can, staring down at it to avoid Ben’s stare. “Can a recruit trade one bride for another?”
“Why are you asking me that?”
“Just answer the question,” I snap. Belatedly realizing the severity of my tone, I lift my head, my gaze full of remorse. “I’m sorry. I just really need to know, Ben.”
His expression turns serious. He takes a moment before responding, which only sets me on edge all the more. By the time he finally speaks, I’m ready to strangle him or cry.
“It has to be agreed on by both recruits, not just one,” he says. “It’s not encouraged. A bride is acquired through skill, so tradingher would be an insult to yourself. It’s saying you weren’t good enough to get the bride of your choice.”
I nod, barely perceptible, fear paralyzing me. Xavier does the have the right to trade me. From the way he acted during the Bride Hunt, I could assume he wants to keep me, but that’s not good enough. I’d be trusting a stranger with more than my safety.
I’d have to trust Xavier with my life.
Ben sits next to me, the mattress dipping under his weight. He wraps an arm around me, and I lean into his side, soaking up his presence. “Does this have something to do with X?”
I shrug. “Sort of. Brenda, Eric’s bride, stopped by Xavier’s room earlier looking for his help.”
“She’s a drug addict.” A thread of disgust is woven underneath Ben’s tone. “I’m not sure if she was one before she got with Eric, but I know she was definitely one afterward.”
“Addict or not, the bruises on her body didn’t look self-inflicted, Ben. She wants to get away from Eric and become Xavier’s bride.”
My words are statements of fact, nothing more, but as they sweep past my ears, my blood heats in my veins. The prospect of Xavier giving me away or replacing me with Brenda doesn’t upset me only because I want to avoid abuse. It’s also about the feelings of rejection stirring within me.
Fucked up or not, during the Bride Hunt, I was someone’s first choice.
For the first time in my life, I felt wanted. Valued.
It’s not that I love Xavier. Our relationship, if it can even be called that, is built on ceremony and tradition. So why does the prospect of him replacing me with another woman evoke jealousy and other petty emotions?
Xavier made me feel seen. I don’t want to be invisible again.
Ben sighs and hugs me tighter. “Delilah, you’re not thinking clearly. X is a lot of things, but he’s not someone who changes his mind. He wanted you to be his bride. I don’t know why, but he did.”
I pull back and frown at him. “That’s not encouraging.”
“I just meant that there’s always a hidden agenda with the recruits.” Ben runs a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean he shouldn’t have picked you. Anyone would be happy to have you as their bride. Hell, most of them don’t deserve you.”
“Being a bride isn’t a privilege. It’s a prison.”
He goes taut beside me. “I’m going to get you out of it. You’ll see.”
“I hope so.”
“Until then, it’s better that you’re with X.”
I make a face at Ben. “He’s a fuckhole.”
“A what?” My foster brother laughs, the tension dissipating from his body. “You come up with the weirdest shit. Like I was saying, yes, Xavier’s an asshole, but he won’t physically hurt you.” Ben pauses, his gaze gleaming with emotion. “If he does, I’ll kill him.”
I bump his shoulder with mine. “Thanks for looking out for me.”
“Always. You’d do the same for me.”
