His forehead creases from the severity of his somber expression and I trail my fingers along the line of tension. It immediately lessens and then he takes my hand and presses his lips to the center of my palm in a gentle kiss. After that he turns it over and kisses each one of my knuckles.
I watch Tristano without the strength to shield my emotions and I wonder if he can see them whenever our eyes meet. If so, then he’ll know the secrets in my heart I don’t wish to share.
At least, not yet.
Even though his muscles are relaxed and his breathing has slowed, his gaze is sharp and a tinge of worry weaves through me. This negative feeling is quickly drowned out by the pleasant lethargy still covering me. My entire body feels weightless, boneless and this may be the most serene I’ve ever been.
“I need you to be sure,” he says, taking my chin in hand. “This is not something to be flippant about.”
“I’m fine.”
“Violetta, don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not.” I blink up at him in confusion, unsure why he sounds upset with me. “I promise.”
He drops his hold on me and briefly closes his eyes. “I savagely took your virginity and fucked you like an animal afterward. I won’t lie to you and say I regret it because I fucking don’t. With that being said, you must be far from unscathed.”
I jerk back slightly because his dark tone catches me off guard. Not only that, it’s intimidating.
Tristano swears under his breath and then cups my cheek to swipe his thumb over the lingering dampness created by my tears earlier. His gaze softens minutely and the tightness in my body lessens.
“Normally I’d order you to put aside your fear,” he says, “but after what just occurred between us, it’s understandable. However, if I was offered the chance to change anything tonight, I’d do it all again, in the exact same way. Do you know why?” I shake my head and he continues. “Because it was what I wanted, what I’ve craved since first laying eyes on you.”
My uncertainty grows and becomes full-on anxiety. Is Tristano saying he no longer wants me now that he’s been satisfied? The evening takes on a sour note, making my stomach churn. My pulse increases when the blood in my veins pumps quicker, due to the adrenaline seeping in.
“Violetta, stop it.” Once I bring my gaze to him, he bends down and sweeps his mouth over mine, completely turning my world upside down and jumbling my emotions. “Get rid of the suspicion and doubt. I’m trying to explain that you were my fantasy made manifest tonight. The more I gave you, the more you wanted. Not only that, you blossomed in it. Watching you like that will haunt me for the rest of my life, because compared to this?Nothingwill be better.”
I’m not sure what to say, think, or feel, yet my heart wants to believe him. What I need is time to process everything, but when I do, that’ll mean the evening is over.
And I want to savor it as long as possible.
I have no illusions that having sex with Tristano guarantees some type of commitment or even a relationship, however, the tenderness from him offsets the calousness and gives me hope that he could grow to care for me.
He shifts his weight and the movement causes his cock to slightly withdraw from inside me. I wince at the soreness and when he catches me, my cheeks nearly burst into flames from embarrassment.
“Hold on,ribelle. Let me take care of you.”
Tristano eases himself from me and makes quick work of cleaning up and setting his clothing to rights. Then he wets a linen napkin and reaches for me. My legs are closed and he gives me a pointed look when I don’t immediately spread them. I finally obey and avert my gaze as feelings of self-consciousness engulf me.
“You don’t need to be ashamed or embarrassed,” he says, running the material over my inner thigh. “You have given me the highest honor a man could ask for.”
“My virginity?” I ask, affronted by the mere suggestion that’s all a woman has to offer.
“Your trust.”
I deflate. “Oh.”
He tends to me and is extremely careful around my sex and the surrounding area. I can’t be certain, but I swear there’s a gleam in his eyes when he looks between my legs, no doubt titillated by the sight. However, it disappears, instantly replaced with concern.
Tristano sucks in a breath. “I really should’ve…” Then he exhales and shakes his head, continuing his ministrations.
I want to correct his assumption or remind him exactly how much I enjoyed what happened. The pain was simply that and after being numb for the majority of my life, it felt good to actually feel something. What he did to me was pleasurable despite the discomfort because I knew Tristano wasn’t trying to hurt me. He was simply overtaken by the passion blazing between us and it’s a known fact that fire can burn you.
But the heat of it can also melt a frozen heart.
My thoughts roll over my tongue, nearly spilling from my mouth, but somehow I manage to keep silent. This isn’t the moment for that type of conversation and, truth be told, I’m not sure he’d want to hear it anyway.
Tristano takes the linen square and folds it neatly before sticking it in his pocket. I don’t stop my mouth from falling open, nor do I try to close it.
