I lower my arm and do something stupid. With my eyes closed, leaving myself vulnerable to anyone approaching, I rifle through Federico’s pocket and retrieve the contents inside. Then I lift my heavy eyelids and stare at his body through my cell phone’s camera lens but only briefly.
The small click of a button frees me to leave, somehow thrusting me a little more into reality.
At the faint whining of a siren, I stumble when I get to my feet, and only the shaking of my legs keeps me from bolting. After peeking around the corner to verify no one has seen me, I boldly stride across the sidewalk. My gait becomes more steady with each step and by the time I reach the curb, I believe I appear calm to anyone passing by. The street cameras from the intersection are far enough away that I dismiss them. However, I flip up the collar of the coat I’m wearing just as a precaution.
Once I hail a ride share, I tap my foot incessantly. A normal person would interpret my repetitive action as impatience, but what they don’t know is I need an outlet for the emotions roiling through me. They’re growing exponentially with intensity and I’ve repressed them as much as I can. My body still battles to keep the tumultuous energy contained.
I'm a ball of molecules with increasing movement and if I don’t have release, I’ll implode.
My transportation pulls up to where I stand, and I all but jump into the waiting vehicle. The driver, a man in his late thirties eyes me warily, and I don’t blame him.
I did just leave a crime scene where I murdered someone.
“Where do you want to go?” he asks.
“Anywhere but here.”
He opens his mouth and promptly closes it. Then says, “Sounds good.”
The car rolling away from the sidewalk and into traffic eases my anxiety somewhat. The Chicago lights are bright and lively, completely opposite of the dread and darkness swirling within me, within my soul, made darker by the latest events.
Thoughts of the lifeless bodies I left behind stab at my consciousness and I wince from the distress they bring. However, I shove all that line of thinking to the recesses of my mind until I can handle it.
I can fall apart later, but my priority right now is to find safety.
How can I do that when this entire city is full of people with evil dictating their behavior? I’m in a web of my own making, due to my actions, but I wouldn’t be if not for my heritage. And who can fully escape their past?
Physically it’s possible, but mentally there’s nowhere to run.
Chills skid along my arms and I grab the ends of Federico’s jacket, pulling them closed. Not too long ago the wind soothed my flushed face, while the ends of my hair danced about my head. Not too long ago Federico was my greatest, immediate threat.
But now he’s gone and another, deadlier, one has taken his place.
“You don’t need to escort me home,” I say to Federico.
“The heart of the city is no place for you to be alone, especially at night.” He glances down the street, no doubt searching for the ride share he requested on my behalf. “Why don’t we get out of the elements while we wait?”
“You’re right,” I say. “It’s freezing.”
He dips his head in acknowledgment and frowns. “Do you want my coat?” He shrugs from the long overcoat and holds it out to me.
“Please keep it.” I gaze up at him and give him what I hope is a grateful smile. “I’m sure the driver will be here any minute, so there’s no need for you to be cold.”
He puts the garment over my shoulders, and I have to press my lips together to keep from cringing. The entire evening has been this way: Federico executing light touches and me trying to avoid them, or hide my disgusted reaction when he’s successful.
To be fair, I don’t want anyone’s hands on me ever again.
“I’ll be fine.” He pulls out his phone from his pocket and glances at the illuminated screen. “It won’t be much long—”
The cocking of a gun cuts off Federico’s words, as well as the air in my lungs…
I yank myself from the recent memory and massage my now throbbing temples. Has there ever been a time when I wasn’t under a constant threat of violence? The answer quickly arrives at the forefront of my mind.
No. I’ve never been safe. And despite my best efforts, neither has my sister.
The danger that began with my father still lingers, but it could originate from anyone in the crime syndicate, also known as the “underworld.” The rulers of this corrupt kingdom delight themselves in putting others in tyranny.
Especially women.
