I don’t know why I’m saying all this.I don’t want to get into this.It’s been too long.But for some reason, seeing the way Olivia is with her parents, a part of me wishes I had that with mine.
Mom is quiet for a long time.Long enough that I think she might get up and leave, might decide I’m not worth this conversation.But then she says whisper-soft, “You’re right.”
I turn to look at her again.She looks tired, older than I remember.The lines around her eyes are deeper in the dim light.“Your father and I could have tried harder.Should have tried harder.”She wipes at her face with the back of her hand.“I thought—I thought you were fine.You always seemed so self-sufficient, so focused.I didn’t realize you felt left behind.I guess it was easier to focus on your brothers who were always demanding my attention because they were younger.I’m sorry, Alexander.”
Something in my chest cracks, just a little.
“It’s a new beginning for you now,” she says, and there’s hope in her voice, fragile and tentative.“With Olivia.A fresh start.”She turns to face me fully.“Will you give us another chance?Your father and me?Let us be part of your life.Really part of it.”
I want to say yes immediately.I want to close this gap that’s been widening between us for two decades.But the words stick in my throat, tangled up with old hurt and the bone-deep fear that if I let them in, I’ll just be disappointed again.
Mom must see it on my face because she sighs and starts to stand.She’s taken three steps toward the door when I finally speak.
“You guys should stay till New Year’s.”
She stops.Just freezes mid-step, her back still to me.For a moment, I hear nothing but the hum of lights and my own heartbeat.Then she turns around, and the smile on her face is brilliant.Radiant.The kind of smile I haven’t seen from her directed at me in years.
“We’d love that,” she says, and her voice thick with emotion.“We’d really love that, Alexander.”
I nod once, not trusting myself to say anything else.
She takes another step toward me, and for a second I think she might hug me, but she just reaches out and squeezes my shoulder.“Thank you,” she whispers, then slips back inside before I can respond.The door closes softly behind her, and I’m alone again with the cold, the lights, and the tangled mess of emotions in my chest.
I let out a long breath.
Maybe I was obsessed with my business back then.Maybe I expected to receive more than I gave, maybe I was jealous that I had to struggle throughout my childhood while my brothers got everything handed to them.Maybe we all made mistakes, and holding onto them is just another form of self-sabotage.
The door opens again, and I tense, expecting Mom to have come back with more to say.But when I glance over my shoulder, it’s Olivia.She’s changed into a cream sweater, her dark hair loose around her shoulders, and she’s got her arms wrapped around herself against the cold.The light from inside catches in her hazel eyes, making them look more green than brown.
“What are you doing out here?”
I should probably stand up.I should invite her to sit with me or suggest we go back inside where it’s warm.But I just look at her—this woman who said yes, who’s wearing my ring, who chose me—and something loosens in my chest.The emerald glints on her finger, and I feel proud.
She doesn’t wait for an answer.Just crosses the porch and lowers herself onto the step beside me, fitting herself against my side like she belongs there.Like she’s always belonged there.I wrap my arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer, and she melts into me with a sigh.
“Your mom looked happy when she came back inside,” Olivia says.
“We talked.”
“Good talk or bad talk?”
“Both.Maybe.”I press my lips to the top of her head, breathing in her scent.“Complicated talk.”
“Those are usually the important ones.”She tilts her face up to look at me.“Want to tell me about it?”
I should.I will.But not right now, when the night is still soft with magic and her ring is catching the light from the Christmas display overhead.Right now, I just want to hold her and let the quiet settle around us like fresh snow.
“Later,” I murmur, tucking her closer.“Just sit with me.”
She settles more firmly against me, her head resting on my shoulder, and we sit there in the cold watching the lights blink their patterns across the yard.The sound of celebration drifts through the windows behind us—our parents’ laughter, the clink of glasses, someone putting on another Christmas song—but out here it’s just us.Just me and the woman I’ve loved for six years.
The woman who’s finally, actually mine.
My hand finds hers, thumb brushing over the ring on her finger, and something settles in my chest.Something that feels like peace.Like coming home.
“I love you,” I say quietly, the words almost lost in the space between us.
Olivia goes very still.Then she lifts her head, those hazel eyes searching my face in the dim light.“Say it again.”
