“Why not just ask me out like a normal person?”The question bursts out of me, frustration and confusion warring in my chest, making it hard to breathe.“Why all this?Why the deception?”
“Would you have said yes?”
I freeze.The question hangs between us, heavy and damning.Would I have?Before all this, before I knew him like this?Before I’d seen him laugh with my father and charm my mother and hold me like I was precious?
The answer is no, and we both know it.
“If you liked my money, it would have worked,” he continues, reading my silence correctly.His voice is matter-of-fact, but I can hear the hurt underneath.“But you never cared for my money, and I didn’t want to be tempted to pursue you when I knew you were committed to somebody.So I kept you at arm’s length.It was easier to make you dislike me.”
The words cut through me.Dislike him?Have I ever disliked him?I think about the Alexander from the office—demanding, exacting, always pushing for more.Always so controlled, so distant.
“I never disliked you, Alexander.”The words tumble out before I can stop them, raw and honest.“I’ve always admired you.”
He laughs, but it’s a quick, brittle sound that cracks something inside my chest.The sound is so unexpected, so unguarded, that it makes my heart hurt.“I’ve been a demanding boss.A harsh one at times.I know you would never have given me a chance.”
“Then who is the real Alexander?”
“The one you worked with to get my business back on its feet,” he says simply.“The one who’s been here.”
The anger that had begun to ebb away rises hot and fierce in my chest.He deceived me.I’m angry, not just because of that but because he’s right, angry because my mother’s words are echoing in my head about being hurt to find the right person.I think about how he’s treated me here—the way he’s cared for my family, the way he’s held me, the way he looks at me like I’m the only person in the world.
Every moment has been real for him while I thought we were playing pretend.
“I don’t like that you deceived me,” I say finally, and my voice breaks on the last word.
“I understand.”
We stand there in silence, snow falling around us like we’re trapped in a snow globe.The Christmas tree lights blur in my peripheral vision, turning into streaks of gold and red and green.I can hear carolers somewhere in the distance, their voices rising in harmony, and it feels absurd that the world is continuing on when mine is fracturing apart.
“What do you want from me?”I ask, and I’m not sure if I’m begging or demanding.
“Everything.”
My hands clench into fists, my nails digging into my palms.The sharp pain grounds me.“You keep saying that, but what does that mean?”
He’s quiet for a moment, and I watch something shift in his expression—like he’s finally letting down the last of his walls.Like I’m seeing the real Alexander Castellano, stripped of all his defenses.He takes my hand, gently prying my fingers open, and I realize I’m shaking.He brings my hand to his lips.His eyes never leave mine as he kisses my knuckles, and the gesture is so tender, so reverent, that tears prick at my eyes.
“I want your future,” he says, his voice rough with emotion.Each word sounds like it’s being pulled from somewhere deep inside him.“I want everything with you.I want you to be mine.And I want to be yours.”
My cheeks flush hot despite the cold, heat spreading down my neck and across my chest.My heart is pounding so hard I think it might break through my ribs.“You can’t say it like that.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t understand you at all.”My voice cracks, and a tear escapes, tracking hot down my cold cheek.
“This is who I am.”His voice is steady, certain, and he reaches up to catch the tear with his thumb.The gentleness of the gesture nearly undoes me.“For you, I will always be this Alexander.”
He pauses, and for the first time since I’ve known him, he looks uncertain.Exposed.Human in a way I’ve never seen him before.
“Can I have you?”His voice is rough, almost tentative.“Really have you?”
My chest squeezes at the way he’s asking me, the way he’s phrased this question.Of course my answer would be ye?—
Reality crashes back like a bucket of ice water.My job.My career.Everything I’ve worked for.“What about my job?”
“No matter what your answer is, I will never fire you.”
“If I reject you?”I see the flash of pain in his eyes—sharp and immediate—and my heart hurts.Actually hurts, like someone’s squeezing it in their fist.His jaw tightens, and for a moment he looks away, like he can’t bear to hold my gaze.
