The party is still going in the ballroom, though the doors are propped open and the lights are brighter and the crowd has thinned. We check our phones, mine barely fitting in my tiny clutch purse, his fished out of his cavernous back pocket, and there is a text in the group chat from Bea, a Happy New Year wish with an abundance of exclamation points, and one in our private chat, a simple but concernedyou ok???
All good, I type back.
“I think they’re still here,” I say, peering back into the ballroom. Bea would have told me if she was leaving.
“Do you want to find them?” he asks.
What I want, inexplicably—or at least that’s what I’m telling myself—is to go back to my apartment with Finn. But I can’t say that. I can’t just tell him what I want andhopeagainst hope he’ll give it to me. Sure, he’s done that once already tonight, but that was off pattern for him.
“I think I want to go home now,” I say instead.
Finn walks with me to the escalator that takes us down to the lobby. He stands not far from me, but not close enough to touch, as I wait in line at the coat check. He pulls out his phone to request a rideshare, waving me off when I try to insist I’ll do it myself.
We stand just inside the lobby doors in silence. The car pulls up and even though Finn has not collected his coat from coat check, a silly part of me still hopes he’ll follow me out to the car.
Which he does.
He opens the door, and I stand there, both of us shivering, squinting into the bright golden lights of the porte cochere. “Well,” he says, and he leans down, hair falling from behind his ear and kisses my forehead. A different kind of New Year’s Eve kiss. A consolation prize.
“Happy New Year, Nora,” he says.
And I get into the car, leaving space for him to follow, but Finn closes the door, definitively, behind me.
FINN COLLINS, APRIL 2, 2023
9:23 a.m.: Finn: what’s your address?
9:30 a.m.: Nora: who is this?
9:41 a.m.: Finn: Nora
9:52 a.m.: Nora: you’ve been here before!
9:59 a.m.: Finn: just give me your postal code
10:01 a.m.: Nora: have you heard of Google???
10:03 a.m.: Finn: ok never mind
10:05 a.m.: Nora: M5M 5M5
10:11 a.m.: Finn: was that so hard?
FINN COLLINS, APRIL 18, 2023
6:34 p.m.: Nora: did you…send me a postcard…from Germany?
6:45 p.m.: Finn: it says “Finn” doesn’t it?
6:49 p.m.: Nora: why?
6:55 p.m.: Finn: just being nice
6:57 p.m.: Finn: do you like it?
7:01 p.m.: Nora: yes.
7:03 p.m.: Finn: Good.
