I turn and he’s already putting on his coat, ready to leave. Like dropping a bomb on the middle of my career goals was nothing to him.
“What happened?”
I jump as I shut the door behind me and Wesley stands there. He’s waited here this whole time. I gasp for air to keep from crying. When did this man become my ally, while the one in the office behind me became my enemy?
“Let’s go,” I say, striding back to my office on the other side of the building. My whole body trembles, adrenaline and frustration pulsing hot and hard beneath my skin. I crave the mind-numbing pain that comes from running for hours. The harsh gasps for breath, the weakness in my legs, the body buzz that serves as the perfect distraction for internal screaming on a loop in my brain. All of the offices are dark now and the Pit is empty. Maybe it was a good thing that Richard sent for me so late. No one can witness this walk of shame. No one except...
“I didn’t know you were up for a promotion,” Wesley says quietly.
“I never was.”
Chapter 21: Wesley
The only sound in the whole office is Corrine’s shoes on the tan hardwood floor. Their soft click, click, click seems like the heartbeat of this place. Corrine lets herself into her office while my phone vibrates on my desk. I pause there, watching as she disappears into her dimly lit space.
There are five messages. One from Amy asking where I am. The other four are from Jeremy. The first three say, in progressively urgent case:
dude.
Dude.
DUDE.
And the last one is classic Jeremy:Happy Birthday! Love you!
My desk drawer creaks as it opens and I drop my phone onto a stack of sticky notes. I drop my guilt in there, too, at not answering their texts. I try to tell myself that work is more important. But I’m not thinking of work right now. I’m thinking of her.
Taking the two steps to her door, I knock and step into the doorway.
“Corrine?” I ask. She leans on her hands over her desk, her head bowed. Somewhere between the door and her desk she’s taken her hair out of its bun and it falls over one shoulder.
“Corrine?”
She picks up the file sitting in front of her and slams it back down. A frustrated grunt escapes her, the sound so unlike anything I’ve ever heard come from her mouth and yet the only noise I could imagine her making in this moment. The cup of pens, the computer monitor shudder.
Stepping fully inside the room, I close the door behind me. The office seemed empty as we walked through it but just in case, no one should get to witness this. I can’t tell if she’s going to laugh or scream. From the look on her face, she doesn’t know either; it could be both.
“I’m sorry you had to see that,” she says, a little breathless.
I shake my head, unsure whether she means her anger here in her office or the bits and pieces of her meeting with Richard. Watching it left me with an unpleasant taste in my mouth, an uncomfortable feeling in my gut, and the notion that once again there was something more I should have done but didn’t.
“It’s fine,” I say, taking a few more steps into her office. “You don’t have to apologize.”
“Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try you just...” She shakes her head, looking around the room like words will be written on the walls for her. “Can’t. You can’t win, you can’t get ahead?”
I can’t tell if she’s making fun of me and the dynamic we had up until recently. “Yes,” I say slowly. “I’m familiar with the feeling.”
She watches me silently, a look on her face that could be regret. She walks around the desk, stopping a few feet in front of me with her arms crossed over her chest.
“Did you ever just want to give up?”
“Yeah, sometimes I just wanted to walk out but...”
She takes a step closer, dropping her arms. She’s close enough to touch now, if I wanted. Ifshewanted. I could reach out and hold her hand. I could cover her hip with my palm; I could put it higher.Lower.
“But.” I meet her eyes. “But I know who I am. And I didn’t want to leave here without you knowing who I am either.”
She lifts her hand, hesitates. My whole body leans toward that hand.
