I glance at my messages in the hope that Keith has texted me since our phone call, but nope, there’s nothing.
I need to do something to convince myself I’m doing the rightthing. That I’m getting married. And I have a fiancé. That the perfect life I was headed for is within reach.
So, I message Keith.
Me: Don’t forget to send me your RSVP list.
Pathetic. That the best I can do? Where’s the passion? The heat. The messages declaring how much I miss him. And that I can’t wait to marry him.
I’ve been reduced to the role of a wedding planner in my own wedding.
No worse.Because of course, the message remains unread.
That familiar hurt tightens my guts. I slide the phone back into my purse and lock my fingers together. I’m trying so hard to manage the wedding, and this new job, and keep my spirits up in this festive season. I’m trying so hard to believe in us.
Why can’t my fiancé make half the effort to be the kind of person I want him to be? He must, surely, want me if he proposed to me. Right?
I’m not unwanted. Or unclaimed. Contrary to Arthur’s team’s findings. I am engaged.I am.
And if my fiancé is missing? Well, I’m going to try my best to track him down.
I’m not a quitter.
I need to kick up my wedding planning and do better on the job. I need to ignore my attraction to Brody because that gives off the wrong vibe. I need to recommit to my fiancé and my upcoming marriage.
Yes, that’s the best way forward.
Mind made up, and because I need a diversion from my own problems, I decide to focus on my boss’s issues instead. He pulled me into this situation which, I’m sure, gives me permission to ask him a personal question.
I turn to him. "What I don’t understand is how you’d leave such an important decision to your grandfather."
Brody loosens the tie around his neck. “Getting married didn’tfeel like a big enough deal for me to take time out of my busy schedule to focus on it. And when Arthur said he’d find me a bride, I figured, why not? It kept the old man off my back. And gave him something to do. Which meant, he wouldn’t have the time to meddle in my work.”
I pick up my jaw from where it’s dropped. Is this guy for real? "Marrying someone who could be your life partner, who you’ll see every morning and last thing at night, someone who could influence the course of your life, does not seem important?" I manage.
He shoots me a sideways glance filled with pity. “Our definition of marriage must differ."
"Please, tell me how you see it." No sooner are the words out of my mouth than I grimace.
What does it matter to me how this man views marriage? He’s my boss. I work for him. I should restrict my discussions with him to the job. That’s it.
"You know what, forget I asked. It’s of no importance to me."
"On the contrary." He fixes me with those steely eyes. "Since you asked, and since my grandfather, for some reason, seems very taken with you, you should know that I intend to marry to claim my inheritance.”
“So, the marriage will be in name only?”
He hesitates. “This will be the only time I get married. And I want children. I assume I’ll come to feel something for my wife over a period of time.”
I rub at my temple. "That seems cold."
"As opposed to?"
"As opposed to finding someone who you love and appreciate, and marrying her? That, after all, is the reason for the condition Arthur has imposed, isn’t it?"
And is that why I’m pushing through with marrying my fiancé? I mean, I think I love him. And I think he loves me, in his own way.
Yet based on how he’s treated me, does he really love and appreciate me?
