“That’s what I do, Tate. I plan.”
“Are you planning your escape already? Where do you need to be right now? Back in Manhattan at some glittery party full of your friends? Back in the studio to write? Throwing your own holiday party for people?”
“No.” The word was barely more than a whisper.
“Then why are you pulling away?”
“Because we won’t work.”
“You don’t know that. You’re already expecting it to fail.”
Her eyes shimmered from the shadows of the trees. It was already growing late, the days were so short this time of year.
“It’s just better this way.”
“For who?” I moved into the darkness where she was hiding. “For you?”
“You should be with someone like Molly. She fits in your world.”
I frowned. “Molly? What the hell brought that on?”
“I saw you guys hugging. How excited she is to help you make this work. She’s the kind of woman you deserve.”
“I don’t want Molly.”
“Please. Don’t lie.”
I raked my fingers through my sweaty, dusty hair. “I get you might think a small-town guy like me doesn’t fit in your glamorous world, but don’t color me with that bullshit. Molly ismy best friend and we’ve gone through a lot, but we’ve never been anything more than friends.”
“I see how she looks at you. Maybe you’re the delusional one.”
“She doesn’t make me feel like the sky is brighter when I’m around her. She doesn’t make me feel like I’m missing something when she’s gone. She doesn’t make me want to pin her down and watch her eyes go blind when I fuck her.”
Her mouth dropped open.
“She doesn’t make me want to curl her close to me and read a book while it’s snowing or raining outside. She doesn’t make me want to share a meal with her just to be in the same room together. She doesn’t make me lay awake, staring at my ceiling, aching for her.” I closed the gap between us. “She doesn’t make me want to take the time and find every freckle or birthmark on her skin. She doesn’t make me want to mark her with my beard, my teeth, or my lips. She doesn’t make me?—”
She pressed a finger to my mouth. “Stop. You can’t say things like that.”
I nipped her finger until she pulled away. “Because it would be easier if I didn’t?” I braceleted her wrist, ignoring the dirt under my nails and mud flaking off my skin. “Aren’t you tired of easier? I know I am.”
“Nothing has ever been easy for me,” she whispered furiously. “I’ve fought for every inch I’ve gained in my career.”
“This isn’t about Ambrose. This is about the woman under the glitter. The one who curled next to me for the pure joy of connecting. The one who was brave enough to open up and let me in for a little while. Don’t you want to see what’s there for more than just a few nights?”
“Even if I know how it ends?”
“That’s just one story. I know for a fact you’re more creative than that.”
She shut her eyes when I put her hand on my chest. “Tate.”
“You came over here to check in on me because you want to be here. You want to be with me just as much as I want to be with you.”
Her fingernails dug into my thermal shirt.
“You’re worth the pain,” I whispered.
Her eyes flashed open.
