But this was the last show. I just had to make it through four more songs.
I shut my eyes and took a long, slow breath in and let it out.
“Ambrose?” A gentle hand touched my shoulder.
“Change of plans.”
“Oh, shit.”
Cindy, one of my longest running dancers was used to me calling a change. Gary, the lighting guy, would be ready to strangle me.
Too bad.
If I didn’t call a change, the show would end in disgrace. That was something I would never do to my team or the people who paid good money to be here. Especially tonight.
It was the last night of the tour.
It was a sold-out arena in...God, where was I?
New York.
Almost home.
I squeezed my eyes shut. Why did my hometown flash in my head? Not my loft in Manhattan.
“Ambrose?”
I pulled Cindy down on the couch with me. “Remember when we did that rehearsal forThe Late Show?”
“With the PJs for ‘The Tower’?”
“That’s the one.” I gripped the edge of the fuchsia velvet couch and blinked away the black dots and frustration that my body wouldn’t cooperate.
“You’ve been pushing way too hard.”
The tears were so close. I was so tired. I could feel my nervous system ramping up to a full-on anxiety attack. “I can’t let people down, but I almost fell down,” I whispered.
I couldn’t look weak.
Not on the last night of the tour. The press was just waiting for me to fail. To have the front row seat to see the Queen of Pop fall flat on her face in front of over fifty thousand people was not happening.
Cindy moved in closer, pitching her voice down. “We can make it a shorter show.”
I shook my head. “No, we can’t. You know we can’t.”
“Okay, okay. You’re right. We’ll just do some songs you don’t usually do this tour. They’ll think it’s special and the internet will explode.”
“Right. That’s good. ‘Golden,’ ‘Exile,’ ‘Tower,’ and ‘Christmas Fire.’”
“Holy crap. People are going to shit glitter.”
I laughed. “Spread the word.”
Cindy popped up and ran off to let the other dancers and backup singers know.
I pulled off the glittery tiara that I usually wore for the end of the show. I kicked off the five inch boots and flexed my feet before pressing them into the floor.
Grounding.
