I set the plate on his small counter then sat on the couch and we watched the game silently for a few. The tension immediately filled the room. “How have you been feeling?”
“Fine. Better now that you don’t have all those people building outside my goddamn door.”
“I warned you they were coming.”
“Yeah. Don’t know why you didn’t do something better with your money.”
The usual disappointment hit. I wasn’t sure why I hoped for something different. “I wanted to do something for the town and for me, Pop.”
“The town never did anything to help you. Now they just lick your boots because you got cash.”
I sighed and sagged against the cushions of the couch. “This is my home and my people. They’re your people too.”
“They ain’t my people.”
“They could be if you didn’t just sit here mad all the fucking time.”
“Why wouldn’t I? You made my farm a joke.”
“I made the farm useful. Times are changing and this is the way to?—”
“To what?” My father sat up, his shoulders looking frailer than the last time I saw him. “Make us a joke.”
I stood up. “No, I made us a part of this community. And tomorrow people will come here and see what I built out of the ashes of this sad fucking farm. Mom would love this. She loved her little farm stand to talk to people.”
“Don’t you talk about her.”
“Why? We talk about people to remember them. She’d have loved all of this. The artists I picked out were all things she loved. If you weren’t so goddamn miserable, you’d come out and see that.”
“I’m handling the horses, aren’t I?”
“Your stable hands are doing that. If you’d just look up, you might see something good in this world instead of feeling sorry for yourself.” I sighed. “I gotta go.”
He didn’t reply and I hated that I wanted to get away from him as soon as I saw him.
I slammed the door as I left.
Not the way I wanted to end the damn day.
25
amber
The sun was shiningwhen I finally rolled out of bed. James and I had worked on the last song late into the night. Add in the ungodly amount of food I’d eaten, and I was deep into slug status.
I’d checked in with Tate a few times, but his texts had been one-word replies.
I wasn’t sure if it was because he was worried about the opening or because he’d gone to see his dad. It was one thing he didn’t talk about. I couldn’t imagine losing my mom and my dad at the same time.
Being home had reminded me just how much I missed them. I grabbed my phone off the charger on my way out of my bedroom. James wasn’t moving quite yet, but that wasn’t surprising. She didn’t show her face before noon unless there was food involved.
I texted Lindz to let her know that James was still behaving. She was planning to head back to Winchester Falls today after we took a twirl through Wonderland. I wanted to wait until theinitial crowd dispersed. I still didn’t trust that my appearance would help in any way.
I didn’t want anything to take away from the actual Haven Winter Wonderland.
I went downstairs and made a cup of strong coffee before showering and dressing for the day. It wasn’t overly cold, so I went with jeans and a sweater with boots against the leftover mud from the good soaking we’d gotten the day before. I did a full face of makeup just in case I ended up on camera, but I did skip anything sparkly or glam. I was just Amber today.
Hopefully.
