“No,” I say preemptively.
“Yes,” she fires back. “Tell me everything. The date with Bennet—spill.”
I groan, sinking lower into the couch cushions. “It was…fine.”
Liz narrows her eyes. “Fine? Eden, you went out with a guy who could feature in a finance bro calendar. That’s at least spicy fine.”
“It wasn’t spicy,” I mumble.
“Was it at least cute?”
I hesitate. “He was…charming. Funny. Good conversationalist.”
Liz arches a brow. “And hot?”
I sigh, rubbing my forehead. “Objectively, yes. Tall, clean-cut, smells of expensive cologne. The whole package.”
“And?” she prompts, as if I’m holding out the juicy part.
“And nothing,” I say. “He kissed me, and it was like…kissing a wall.”
Liz winces. “Oof. That bad?”
“No, not bad. Just…nothing. Kissing air would’ve been more exciting. Or, I don’t know, kissing someone who’s reading a spreadsheet in their head.”
She laughs so hard she nearly drops the ice cream. “You kissed a human Excel file.”
“Basically.”
She sits up, eyes narrowing in mock-seriousness. “Okay, so why not try again? Maybe the second kiss will be better. Are you seeing him again?”
“No way. I’m not signing up for a subscription to mediocre kisses, Liz.”
“Oooh, she said subscription,” Liz teases, pointing her spoon at me. “Listen to you, Miss Bougie. But seriously, is this about Josh?”
I freeze. “What?”
She softens, scooting closer. “You know. The whole…thing. How he?—”
“Yes, Liz, I remember,” I say, sharper than I mean to. I exhale. “It’s not about him. It’s about me.”
She’s quiet, waiting.
I swirl my spoon through the half-melted ice cream, stalling. “I tried with Josh. Therapy, books, all the advice about ‘just relaxing.’ But there’s no magic ‘off’ switch for trauma. And still... nothing. I couldn’t get there. Not once. I’m twenty-six, and I’ve never had a vaginal orgasm with a man. Bennet’s not changing that—I can tell right away.”
Liz’s expression softens. Her voice drops, less teasing now. “But you can come on your own? With a vibrator?”
My cheeks flush. I nod. “Yeah. Alone, no problem. But with someone else?” I shake my head. “It’s like my body slams the door shut. And it’s not fair to keep trying with someone when I already know how it ends.”
She frowns. “You’re not broken, Eden. You just need the right guy.”
“Tell that to the part of me that freezes every time someone gets too close.”
Liz sets the ice cream down, leaning forward. “So what, you’re just going to swear off men forever?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “Bennet’s nice. He’s perfect on paper. But…no.”
Liz studies me, calculating. Then her face goes bright, and I tense. “You know what you need?”
