“Enough!” Masaki snaps angrily, then he orders, “Take Ryo away.”
“Nooooo!” I cry, darting to my feet as the soldiers begin to drag Ryo back toward the stream. The soldier who captured me tightens his grip on my arm, and I’m unable to get free.
“Yuki!” Ryo shouts. “No. Let me go.Yuki!” His voice goes shrill with anger as he fights against them.
I’m crying so hard I can’t get any words out, and as the men continue to walk and the distance grows between us, I feel inconsolable.
“I’ll find you!” Ryo yells as he disappears from my view. “Yuki! I’ll find you again.”
I sink to my knees, my arm hanging in the air where the soldier still has a firm hold on it. Seeing the stick Ryo was using for a sword, I quickly grab it and press it to my chest.
(Present time…)
Dr. Hagita finishes with the last injection near my ear, then his fingers prod all over my face.
For the next week, I’ll lie low while the swelling goes down before I’m forced to go out in public again. It’s the only week I get to myself and I’m left alone.
In the past, school and voice coaches kept me busy, but since I turned eighteen, I get to do some pottery or just watch TV while I gorge on snacks. At least I don’t have to watch my weight because it helps me look more like a man if I’m not too skinny.
I have to go through the procedures every three months and don’t even feel the prick of the injections anymore. Honestly, I’m so used to it and actually get excited because it means I’ll have seven days of peace and quiet before I have to return to the role of a man who spends most of his time in restaurants and clubs.
There’s also the suit fittings, test driving the latest sports cars, and once in a while, attending birthday parties or functions held by the other wealthy heirs in Tokyo.
I hate that I have to portray Ryo as a man who’s frivolous with money and doesn’t care about anything. It feels like I’m being dishonorable to his image, and I fear he won’t forgive me once he finds out.
But that’s still another year from now. Ryo will come out of hiding to take his place in the Yakuza when he turns twenty-five, and he’ll probably take over from Father when he turns thirty.
When Dr. Hagita is satisfied, and he steps away from me, I sit up on the bed and adjust the oversized sweater I’m wearing. Except for the suits, most of my clothes are bulky. I also wear shoes with hidden lifts and thickened insoles, so I appear taller than I am.
“Does the padded shirt and chest binder still fit well?” Dr. Hagita asks.
Not bothering to look at him, I nod as I slip off the medical table. The padded shirt adds bulk to my torso, and the chest binder squashes my breasts so flat that it sometimes hurts tobreathe. It’s a two-in-one shirt I’m forced to wear under all my outfits.
While I wait for Masaki to finish talking with Dr. Hagita, I adjust the hoodie over my head to hide my face, which is already starting to feel swollen.
When Masaki walks to the door, I follow him out of the room. Sho and Kentaro, the two guards who always accompany us everywhere, are waiting out in the hallway, and we leave the building without wasting any time.
Just as we step onto the sidewalk, a woman gets out of a car. She’s wearing a pale pink dress, the fabric swooshing around her legs. Her makeup is done exquisitely, and I feel the familiar pang of longing and resentment.
I used to be beautiful like her. Ryo always joked that he’d have to beat up all the boys to keep them away from me once I was older.
Instead, I became a boy, and I was home-schooled, so I never had any friends. I’m fluent in five languages and did so well with my schoolwork that I could’ve studied for a degree. But I wasn’t allowed to attend university.
Right now, it’s my job to impersonate my brother, and once he takes his rightful place, I’ll get married to a man of my father’s choosing. My life will never be my own.
The woman gives me a curious look as I walk to where Kentara opens the back door of the luxurious Toyota Century.
As I climb inside, I glance at the woman and see she’s looking over her shoulder at me, but when Kentaro gives her a wolfish grin, she quickly glances away.
She’s probably wondering who I am. I often run into socialites when I’m out and about, but thankfully, I never have to pretend I’m dating one.
I have never dated or been in love, and I’ve given up having stupid daydreams. Once Ryo comes out of hiding, I’ll be given to a high-ranking official.
My eyes touch on Masaki as he gets in beside me while the guards sit in the front of the car.
Masaki is married, so at least I know I won’t be given to him. Kentaro and Sho are just guards, so it won’t be one of them either, which is another blessing because they’re hot-headed idiots.
I don’t know the other members of the Yakuza, as I don’t attend meetings or interact with any of them. I don’t even know where Father lives and only see him every other month.
