“Of course.” Her eyes, covered with seductive dark eye shadow, tell me she knows exactly what she’s doing to me. She rests both arms on top of the box, crosses them, and poses for the camera. “Have fun. I’d love to play, but, you know, work never stops.”
Forget the laundry. I can’t flee fast enough. In the nearest empty room, I crack the door and press my back against the wall. I try to remember how to be a functioning human who’s seen a grown adultworkingbefore.
Boudoir photography is Charlotte’s job, I keep telling myself. Maybe she’s not torturing me on purpose. She’s only?—
Something catches my eye.
Anotherpile of socks. Three fuzzy pairs with pine trees on them. They must be Charlotte’s because they’re not mine. The sock bandit strikes again. I’m impressed at this point. I bend down to pick them up, and right on cue, Ember wiggles through the doorway like she sensed me infiltrating her stash. She sits at my feet, her tongue out, nub wagging, all proud of herself.
My brow quirks upward. “We really need to talk about your foot fetish.”
She barks. Translation: Worry about yourself.
Noted. After a moment of thought, I crouch down to her level. “Look. I know we’ve had our differences. But we need to come together as a team right now. We’ll make it through these trying times.” I pet her between the ears. “You heeled well this morning. That’s good. Let’s add another walk to the schedule.” Lord knows I need the cool air.
Ember’s listening for once, sustaining eye contact. Maybe Charlotte’s right, perhaps she’d make a good police dog for?—
“Ember!” Charlotte sings from the other room.
Ember’s ears perk at the jingle of dog treats. Bacon flavored. Her head whips between me and the open door. Her whole body wiggles.
I tilt my head. “No, no, no. Don’t give me that look.”
She whines softly. Her big brown eyes tell me she’s just as weak as I am. It doesn’t help that Charlotte gives belly rubs until her hand nearly falls off.
“We’re a team,” I whisper, pleading. “Remember? We just talked about this. Thirty seconds ago.”
Another jingle and she makes her decision.
“Hey. Come back here!” I call after her, but she’s already gone. “Whose side are you on?”
The side with the treats, the cuddles, and the woman who looks like a five-course Christmas feast.Obviously.
I dissociate for a minute, eyes fixed on a dot on the floor. New plan. I snap back to the present and fish out my phone from my pocket.
Paige picks up on the second ring. “What happened?”
“I know an Op when I see one.” I grip the phone like a walkie-talkie, pacing the small room. “Charlotte’s doing photoshoots around the cabin in lingeriemultipletimes per day. UndermyChristmas tree. On my hardwood floor. Last night, I went for a late-night snack—as I always do. There she was, eating strawberries in her underwear at 2AM. And just now?—”
I peek around the doorframe. Charlotte’s packing up her camera, wearing a robe, the salacious Santa outfit underneath. She’s laughing at something Ember did. “She’s taking pictures of herself covered by a literal wrapped present. With a bow. She offered me a gift. The same present between her legs, Paige.”
“I’m struggling to see a problem here. Didn’t you say she’s a boudoir photographer?”
Screaming children and holiday music echo in the background. Sounds like she’s at a mall or zoo. I can’t tell.
“Yes, but—okay.” I breathe and start again. “This morning—” I lower my voice to a whisper. “I walked past the library. She was squinting while biting her lip, reading a book that had two women kissing on the cover. She was wearing thick-rimmed glasses in this—this librarian outfit that was not appropriate for any library I’ve ever been to.”
“Uh, huh.”
“And there was a candy cane.” I clamp my eyes shut at the memory. My ears are burning. “Just hanging out of her mouth while she hummed that Santa Baby song.”
“Right.”
“Don’t you get it now?” I entreat.
Silence. “She needs a stronger prescription for glasses?”
Are you fucking serious? I slap a palm on my forehead and point the phone’s speaker an inch from my mouth. I whisper angrily, “She doesn’t need glasses! Her vision is 20/20.”
