CHAPTER 1
KEZ
Just like that,everything changes. The air shifts around all three of us, an empire built on twenty years of friendship crumbling with it. Charlotte retreats toward her car at my words and I trace a finger in the sand as the white-crested ocean waves crash into the shore. I have no choice—it's now or never. Or, at least, that's what I thought ten minutes ago. I chew on my lip, place my aviator sunglasses on top of my head and gaze toward the sky, allowing the blazing sun to nearly blind me. I, Kez Langston, whose ability to speak the wrong words at the right time always gets me into trouble, did it again. Damnit.
I draw in a deep breath and let it out slowly, unable to avoid Clara's death glare. Charlotte is marching toward the blanket to retrieve her purse, while I stand rooted to the spot, trying to figure out how to get my foot out of my mouth.
"Fuck, Kez! You can't drop a bomb like that a week before someone gets married. For fuck's sake, she just wanted a simple, calm bachelorette party with just the three of us before the chaos of over three hundred guests. You had one job—be here. All you had to do was leave the airport, show up, and surprise her. Not whatever the hell that was." Clara throws her hands up inexasperation while facing the ocean. "And thank you for making me the world's worst maid of honor!"
“I'm sorry, Clara, but I had to,” I mutter, burying my face in my hands. "Great. Now Charlotte hates me."
Clara huffs. "In what universe would you two be together? She doesn't even like women. I told you that years ago." She compresses her lips for a moment, then meets my eyes. "How the hell else was she supposed to react?"
The lump in my throat is already too much to handle. A tear teases the corner of my eye. "She's my best friend. Hell, all three of us have been since grade school. That hasn't changed."
“Don't you think it's obvious your feelings for her have? That changes everything. Life isn't that simple.” Clara sighs in resignation and plops down beside me. “Look. I've been there. Unrequited love sucks, but you can't just show up after eighteen months overseas and expect her to drop her entire life for you.”
Somehow, I blink the tears away. "I thought I could let her go, but I?—"
I clamp my mouth shut. There's no use arguing. Clara won't understand, already blinded by her temper. Defeated, I stand and stroll down the beach, kicking the sand. Why would I want to sit there and listen to Clara? She knowsnothing. Then again, running from what's hard is what I do. It’s the reason I'm in this mess to begin with. If only I had spoken the truth and hadn't run from my past, everything would be different.
Thirteen steps. That’s how long it takes to remember why I came to this beach. Clara’s words sink in.Unrequited love sucks.She doesn't get it. I came back to fight. Fight for Charlotte Harrington. Exhausted by the war in my heart, I turn towards Clara, fists clenched, ready to unleash the fire inside.
I shout, “You act like I went through a midlife crisis! I wasn’t backpacking in Europe. How was I supposed to know the military would call me back days before my Individual ReadyReserve was up? You think I wanted to leave? To come back to this?”
A stone-cold expression crosses Clara's face. She scrunches her eyebrows just like she used to when we were kids and got into a fight. "That's my point! Of all people, you know what it's like to have the rug pulled out from under you, a tornado of your past decisions wreaking havoc on all you've built. You're willing to push that onto Charlotte? Even after all these years? Jesus, you're more selfish than I thought."
"You do not know what you're talking about," I snap, gritting my teeth before dropping my gaze to the conch shell near my boot.
"Selfishness hurts people. Yours specifically, and Charlotte doesn't deserve that. She found someone who treats her with love and respect, someone who gives a shit about her wants and needs. Are you even willing to love someone more than yourself?"
My mouth goes dry. I hate that Clara is right. I should have confessed years ago, before signing my life away to the government. Yet, I'm too late. Again. I didn't deserve her love then, and I'm a fool to think I would now.
My attention shifts swiftly to Charlotte who has nearly reached the blanket. I shove past Clara. It's rude as hell, but I need to do something, sayanything,that will reach Charlotte. The clock is ticking and I refuse to quit now. As she snatches her purse and turns toward the car, I gently grab her arm.
"Answer me this," I beg. Peering into her hazel eyes, I lick my lips. "Do you love him?"
"What?" Charlotte yanks her head back and rips her arm away. "Of course I do. I'm marrying him."
Panic sets in and I’m suddenly aware of the sweat trickling down my lower back. Without thinking, more words spill out. "Just give me time."
Charlotte gives me an incredulous look. "For what? You realize my wedding day is in less than a week, don't you?"
I clasp my hands together, my voice pleading. "Now that I'm back, let me show you everything I didn't have the courage to do before. Please, give us a chance."
Charlotte huffs. “You're incorrigible, Kez! Are you too conceited or thick-skulled to get it?" She points a finger back and forth between us. "There is nous. I don't feel the same way about you. You're too late, even if I once did."
My stomach sinks to unthinkable depths while I stare at her. "So, that's it? It all meant nothing? Be honest with yourself, for once." With my last bit of resolve, I grab her hand, only to let go the second we touch. Instead, I hold her gaze, hoping there's still a chance. After more silence, I finally speak. "Fine, I'll say it. I love you, and you love me."
I hold my breath, locking eyes with the woman I love, and ignoring the confusion on Clara's face.
Charlotte pauses. She places her hands on her hips. “Fine. You want the truth?” The air stills as she closes the distance. “Dating you was a mistake. It ruined our friendship. And for what? To be left and ignored for years. I wrote to you every week. Called you. Texted you over and over again for months. What did I get?Nothing. I didn't know if you were dead or alive. Then, today, you have the audacity to waltz up in your uniform, asking me not to get married. Who the hell do you take me for?”
Speechless, I shift my stance. The sound of water crashing against stones, squawking seagulls, and cars in the distance are all drowned out by my pounding heart. Our secluded childhood hangout that once held so many memories—the laughter, tears, the foundation of our friendship—has transformed into a place of shattered dreams.
I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. I didn't know if I'd be dead or alive either. Is this my price to pay? Idon't deserve any good woman's heart and soul, especially not Charlotte's.
"Hold up." Clara interrupts and raises both arms, open palms into the air. Her usual pale cheeks are now fiery red. "You two dated and hid everything from me?"
