"Yes. The trip was a gift from Aziel's father for my mom's birthday. I begged them to take me, but they refused. If anything, Aziel was angry with me because I got to spend the week with his dad."
I grind my teeth, bracing myself for the next part.
It has been a long time. I was a kid then. I couldn't protect myself, and I don't blame myself for it. Now I'm an adult. An assassin. Yet remembering makes me feel just as defenseless and powerless, as if I'm back in that place.
"Long story short, Aziel's father locked me in the basement. He beat the crap out of me and tortured me. He also revealed I wasn't his son, that I'm some bastard's son. By the time Aziel and my mom returned, I was nearly dead."
I can tell by my cold, distant tone that I'm dissociating. Good.
"He broke many bones. Whipped me with his belt. Made me piss and shit in that basement. Forced my face underwater just for the fun of it. Gave me almost no food besides a piece of bread once a day. And made sure to deliver poisonous words with every hit."
I was so focused on the past that I didn't realize Daddy was shaking beneath me.
I look up and see his eyes – full of hatred and fury. I've never seen him like this. His whole body is coiled tight, and his hands are gripping my hips painfully.
"Daddy?"
"I'll kill him. I promise you. I'll fucking kill him."
I smile, because that's one of the most romantic things I've ever heard.
"You don't need to do that. My dad already killed him."
"Good. I hope he made him suffer."
"I'm not sure. I never asked."
Daddy wraps me in his arms and holds me close, his hand running over my hair, then my back, as if to reassure himself that I'm whole.
Physically, I am. But mentally, I'll never be.
That night changed me forever.
There's no going back from it.
But at least I took the darkness and forged myself into a weapon – a weapon that destroys rotten people and is strong enough at protecting my Daddy. That's what matters.
"I didn't let what happened destroy me," I say aloud.
"No, you didn't. And I wish you never had to go through it, but I'm proud of you for surviving. Thank you for telling me."
"It's not the end of the story."
Daddy braces and nods at me. He admires how strong I am, but he's strong too. No ordinary person could stomach what I'm sharing right now.
"My mom and Aziel found me. I don't remember getting to the hospital, but I remember when I woke up."
"They called the police. You must've been terrified, waking up and having to testify."
I shake my head. "That's not what happened. Aziel and my mom begged me not to say anything. Aziel claimed his father made a mistake and that he regrets it. My mom said he's a good man who just sometimes has bad moments."
"What?" The shock in Daddy's voice is almost too much to bear.
"I agreed because I was too messed up and didn't want to lose my family. I also lied that I didn't remember what happened. But I guess, in the end, I did lose them that night. All because they chose the man who tortured and almost killed their son and brother."
Daddy shakes his head like he can't believe it. Like he can't believe Aziel could do that. Looking back, I can maybeunderstand. He was a kid too. I was eleven, he was fifteen. But what I can never excuse is how he kept talking about his father like he was the greatest man alive.An adventure, he used to say.
"Wait," Daddy says, voice hoarse. "When we were nineteen, Aziel said his father was coming home and that he'd introduce me to him. I never saw him, but Aziel did."
