"That's right." I grip his thighs and squeeze. "It's where you belong from now on. On Daddy's lap."
"So what else did you want to talk about?" he asks, impatient.
Chuckling, I need a moment to sober and focus on what we need to discuss.
"We have a history between us that I know could make things weird." He shakes his head, but I hurry to add, "It can if we allow it. I don't want that to happen. I want to be fair to you."
"Fair?"
"Seeing you only as Aziel's little brother wasn't fair. Not then, and not now. I'm sorry for that."
"I don't get it. Why would you apologize for the past?" He seems genuinely confused.
"Because all I ever saw you as was Aziel's little brother. I didn't see you as a teenager who needed a friend or family support.When you grew up, I didn't see you as a man figuring out what he wanted from life. Most of all, I didn't see you as a human with feelings. Just Aziel's little brother."
Sebastian holds my gaze, and it starts to unnerve me, but I refuse to look away. I would understand if he's angry.
Back then, I thought we were a family, but I followed Aziel's lead when it came to his brother. Maybe it was normal. But when I think about it now, it leaves a bitter taste. I yearned for a family where everyone could be themselves, be seen, and belong. I thought I had it. The truth is, I didn't. Not really.
"And what about now? How do you see me now?" Sebastian asks.
"I'm afraid if I tell you, I'll scare you," I confess.
Looking straight into my eyes, he whispers, "Nothing you ever say could scare me. Nothing."
I swallow hard. This is it. The moment I decide to bare myself and hope I'm not making a mistake.
"The second I saw you in the bar, before I even knew it was you, I wanted to fuck you." His eyes darken with heat, but I rush on. "When you turned around and I saw that it's you… Sebastian, it felt like being punched in the gut."
"In a good or bad way?"
"I don't know. I just… I was shocked. The memories I had of you didn't reconcile with the man standing in front of me. I remembered the past. Being with Aziel. And later, you staying with me that month after the breakup."
I force myself back to the present. Back to the man in my lap.
"Then you called me Daddy, and something twisted inside me in a way it never had before. I tried to shove it down, but every time you called me Daddy, it roared back."
"And what was that?"
"Hunger. The hunger to hear you call me Daddy and mean it. Hunger to claim your body, to mark you as mine, to take care of you, and so much more."
His lips tremble as he whispers, "Daddy."
God. That one word slices straight through me. My body reacts instantly, greedy for him. But under the heat is something else. A tremor I haven't felt in years. That one word can bring me to my knees. It makes me want to protect, claim, and be needed. Not by just anyone. But by him.
I want him to be my boy.
And if I let him call me Daddy again, I wouldn't just fuck him. I'd give him the part of me I swore no one would ever touch.
That's why I need to slam the brakes.
"No. Not so fast. I want us to do this the right way, Sebastian."
"The right way?"
"Yes. I want to ask you out on a date. I want us to get to know each, on a different, deeper level." I take a deep breath and confess, "I want to share with you who I am now, because I'm not the man you remember. There are things about me that could make you run."
"Impossible. I won't ever run away from you."
