Then the sense of responsibility and a hefty dose of guilt hit. Granted, I’d been pretty lost to rut, but that hadn’t been fair to Hudson. The rules had been laid out from the start and I’d broken it the first day with him in the nest.
Doesn’t change the fact that I want him.
And wanting him doesn’t change the plans we have for our future.
We never even contemplated adding anyone else to our pack. We were content just the three of us. Well, we wanted a child, wanted a family. But at no point had any of the three of us felt as though we needed to seek a beta or omega to round us out.
And then Hudson sauntered into our lives.
Sauntered might not be the right word. It’s more like he floated into our lives like an angel. A beautiful, sexy, strong, witty, kind angel who was willing to carry a child for three strangers.
We’d made promises. We promised him financial security, affection, and intimacy.
And we gave him one out of three.
Not that we don’t smother him with as much affection as possible on the weekends, but that’s not enough. I know that. Omegas need their alphas.
Pregnant omegas need the pheromones of their alphas.
What the fuck were we thinking? Why did we think any of this was a good idea?
Why the hell hadn’t I fought harder when Hudson decided to return to his own apartment rather than staying with us?
Sure, that was part of our agreement, that he was welcome to stay at his home and we would pay all his living expenses.
That isn’t enough for me.
Yet, I’m the one who’s been adamant about dissolving the bond the moment it’s safe enough for Hudson. As in after he delivers our child.
Selfish. I’m a selfish fuck.
Astupidselfish fuck at that.
This fucking car won’t go fast enough. Or rather, the traffic isn’t moving fast enough. If I could just get an opening on the highway, I can push the damn gas pedal to the floor to get to the hospital faster. As long as I didn’t kill me and Desmond in a fiery crash.
“What could have happened?” Des asks from beside me, though it sounds more like he’s talking to himself, wondering aloud rather than actually asking me my opinion.
I stay quiet and focus on avoiding rear ending the asshole currently doing ten under the speed limit in front of me.
Whipping around the sedan, I finally make it to the right exit and speed toward the hospital.
Fuck. I want to park outside the ER and simply run inside, but that’ll end up in my car getting towed or ticketed, neither of which I want to deal with right now.
Instead, I drop Desmond at the door, then find the closest parking spot I can. I don’t bother walking, simply take off at a run, slipping periodically when my dress shoes don’t offer any traction on the pavement.
Des is talking to Alex in hushed tones near the door when I finally make my way inside.
“He’s with the doctor. He asked me to step out,” Alex says, shoving his fingers through his hair. The way he looks, he’s obviously done that particular move a few times and hasn’t had any sleep.
He looks haggard, exhausted, distraught.
“He who? The doctor or Hudson?” Isn’t it our right to be in there with him? He’s our omega. The baby he’s carrying is ours.
“Hudson asked me to wait outside.”
“Fuck,” I mutter under my breath.
Had it been the doctor, I would have bullied my way right back into the room. But I feel as if I’ve treated Hudson so shitty, he has every right to demand some privacy.
