“Just breathe, honey. Just breathe. I’ve got you.”
He applied more pressure with his fingertip as I tried to relax. I was trying so hard, it had the opposite effect.
“It’s okay, Cres. Look at me.”
I didn’t even know I wasn’t. I’d been staring at his arm between us, his hand out of sight, his wrist the most I could see of it. I pried my gaze away, looking straight into his eyes.
“That’s it,” he cooed. “Just let go. Let go, focus on me, and breathe. Relax.”
Taking a breath through my nose, I tried to do just that. With Elio here, above me, whispering to me, I knew everything would be okay. He had me, and he wasn’t letting go. I could relax.
I can relax.
Slowly, I blew out of my mouth, and finally, Elio’s finger pushed through. I bit my lip as I whimpered, the shock coursing through me first. It felt so weird. So foreign. Like my body was trying to reject him at first, even though all I wanted was him. Why was my body not letting go? Was I incapable of it? Was I doing something wrong?
“Baby, it’s okay. It just takes time to get used to the feeling, alright? You’re doing just fine.”
He moved his finger, circling it inside of me. His lips caressed my skin—from my lips, to my jaw, to my neck, to my Adam’s apple. He licked and kissed and scraped his teeth over me as the feeling went from unnatural to suddenly not enough.
“More,” I gasped.
The feeling of his hum against me vibrated down into my chest. Another finger stretched me open, joining the first. I was almost begging for it at this point, rocking my hips into him.
“You’re doing so fucking good, Cres. That’s it. Just relax.”
I threw my head back as he pushed deeper. When he rubbed against my prostate, I was almost done for. There was a loud, unashamed scream of pleasure that didn’t sound like Elio. I scrunched my nose in confusion, trying to figure out where it had come from. If it wasn’t Elio, then… No. There wasno waythat had been me. It didn’t even sound like me.
But it was, and it kept going. I hadn’t even realized he’d added a third finger until I felt him spread them out, forcing me open even more.
All I wanted was more. All I needed was him. “Please, El. I need more. Please.” I didn’t know how much more I could stand before fucking exploding, but I needed it. I was craving it.
Elio licked a path from the middle of my neck around and up to my ear, whispering right below it, “Do you want my cock?”
I was nodding before he’d even finished. “Yes.”Yes, please, I need it. I need to let go. I need you tomake melet go.
“I’ve got you, Cres. I’ve got you.” He pulled away and grabbed the lube, pouring an exorbitant amount onto his hand and my hole. “Condom?”
I looked to the side, staring at the nightstand drawer. My brain was so fucked up, I wasn’t sure if I could think hard enough. “Um, I mean, I’m a virgin. Do you think we need one?”
“I haven’t had sex since before we moved into town. Last I heard, I was negative, but I don’t mind wearing one. Probably should’ve asked earlier.”
I thought about it for a second, which turned into my face erupting into flames. The possibility of Elio’s cum being inside me was almost overwhelming. “No condom.”
“Okay, honey. No condom.”
When his lips pressed to mine, something happened. A chemical reaction, the end of the world as we knew it, or maybe our souls were reaching out to one another through our kiss. There were no sticky, black tentacles attached to my ankles. No weird whispers or screams right in my ear canals. A slight breeze whisked through the bedroom, carrying a fresh, grassy scent.
It almost smelled like daisies.
Elio moved back a little, lining himself up. He never took his eyes off me as he pressed forward ever so slightly. The pressure took me by surprise once more, even better than his fingers had felt. “Oh, god.”
“I’ve got you. Relax, and let go, honey.”
Green stems, brown leaves, and a thousand childhood memories reflected in shades of viridian and gold. Every night we spent together, hanging out, watching shows, or reading manga. Every hug we shared. Every friendly “love you” we told each other.
Without him, I hadn’t known peace. I’d been striving to find happiness without the center of my goddamn world for so long, and Ifinally had him again. He was here. Skin-to-skin, with our hearts beating at the same time. Elio was here, and I didn’t need to hold on anymore.
As his hips met my ass, his cock fully seated inside of me, I finally understood what he meant. Elio had me, and he wasn’t letting go. Elio was sharing his mind, body, heart, and soul with me, and I wasn’t letting go, either.
