Water and soap dripped into my eyes, stinging them fora moment. They tried to fight back, to water on their own and force the burning soap out, but I refused to blink.
Barely a whisper, hardly a few words. “Thank you.”
He paused above me, the washcloth resting on my chin. “Please don’t thank me, El.”
“Sunshine.” It came out before I’d even registered it in my mind. Like a possessed version of myself, something needier than I swore I ever was.
One blink. Then two. Crescent nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving mine as he dipped the washcloth back into the water. I felt the waves against my hip as he shook it beneath the surface. “Okay, Sunshine.” He said it with a slight twitch of his lips. I took the movement to heart, then wondered why I was even doing so.
“I want to thank you, Cres. I have to… I—” the words got stuck in my throat, hiding where the fear had been. “I appreciate you. I know how things were in high school, but you’re still looking out for me. It means a lot.”
He turned, opening the sink cabinet and returning with a plastic cup. “There may be nine years of life without each other between us.” He dunked the cup into the water. I closed my eyes when he put his palm over them. “But there are more years, more memories of us together.” The water fell over my hair, stopping just above his hand. “I never forgot you. You know that. The distance doesn’t matter to me. You’re still my Elio.”
My little Elio.
I winced, not because of the water falling over my scalp. “Don’t say that.”
He stopped, but the water kept dripping. Down the side of my face, down the back of my neck, flowing into the tub all around me. “Okay, Sunshine. I won’t.”
I believed him. Despite how little I knew about theworld, I knew I could trust Crescent Miller. His word was worth its weight in gold, with the same twinkle as his eyes.
He lathered shampoo into my hair, his movements just as gentle as when he was washing me. I relaxed into it, letting him massage my scalp and wash it all out. I’d never been pampered like this before.
I think I liked it.
“Do you want to wash the rest? Or do you want me to?”
That was when I remembered myself and the position I was in. Embarrassment was a fickle thing, lacing itself along my skin in the form of goosebumps.
Thankfully, the warm water had calmed the ache in my muscles just enough. “I can do it.”
“Okay. I’m going to grab a towel and give you some time. I’ll knock in a moment and help you out if you’re ready. Just yell if you need me.” He stood from the floor, turning away.
I watched him leave the bathroom, closing the door behind him, with no idea what he’d just done for me.
Crescent Miller was fucking with my head so much, I’d started to think that maybe I had a chance at flying again.
Chapter Fifteen
Ten Years Ago
When I looked at daisies,all I could think of was Elio now, playing that dumb game I told him about. They were suddenly everywhere I looked, in every bunch of grass or field I saw. It was maddening.
Elio was going to ask Jude out today. I tried to pretend it didn’t bother me for some reason. It shouldn’t. It wasn’t like being his best friend meant he couldn’t hang out with someone else. Or kiss them. And cuddle them. And…
Fucking hell. I didn’t want to lose him or our time together. I was afraid of something completely unknown. It’d always just been me and Elio, the two inseparable weirdos. We’d tried to have a third friend before. What a fucking mess that had been. So, we stuck to each other, andMoon and Star were just in for the ride since they lived with us.
I remembered the first time Elio had a crush on a dude. It was in fourth grade—Braden Crysler. Elio had been so freaked out to tell me, worried I’d think of him differently, even though he’d met my family by then. My parents were nothing if not wholeheartedly supportive and loving.
I’d tried to be supportive and loving. I mean, I definitely didn’t care about the whole gay thing, but I cared about the someone else thing.
So now, because of a goddamn daisy I showed him, Elio was on his way over to someone else. Jude, the quiet, tall type, who was nothing like me. I was loud, not as tall as him, and just overall everything he wasn’t. I’d barely interacted with the dude, but I was allowed to make assumptions, goddamn it.
I watched helplessly as Elio sauntered across the cafeteria, getting closer and closer to him. To ask him out. On a date. He’d even told Mom and Dad about it, and they were so happy for him while I had this sinking, ugly feeling in my gut inching its way into my heart. Was that even possible?
Moon had swooned for him, laughing about how fruity our family was. Star just watched, still too young to fully understand our woes.
Then Mom had asked me if I had anyone in my sights, though she didn’t specify gender like Elio had the other day. I told her no. I told her I didn’t know if I’d like to. Which was true, I guessed, since every time I thought about dating—or being around someone other than Elio—I felt all icky and gross on the inside.
