“You’re okay, El. It’s just me. Me and you.”
I sat up, wincing at the twinge of pain in my back. We stared at each other in silence. I opened my mouth, silently begging for words to come out. My vocal cords hurt, vibrating against each other as if they’d never done so before. “I-It isn’t b-bleach, is it?”
Crescent’s lips parted, two of his top teeth peeking between them. They shone under the kitchen light, becoming my focal point. “What do you mean?”
“You only had Pine-Sol.” Any tears I’d successfully held back rushed out, flowing down my cheeks, forming their own lake. Crescent, my gorgeous moon, gleamed onto them, lighting up the perfect place for my wings to settle in. He’d put the fire out. I knew that, more than I knew anything else.
He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “Can I hold you?”
Without any hesitation, I nodded. Before my head had even tilted down, I was wrapped up in Crescent’s arms. He’d pulled me into his lap, no care in the world about the Pine-Sol seeping through his jeans. “I’m so sorry, El. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left you here so soon.”
I breathed him in, my nose right in the crook of his neck. His hair tickled my forehead, but I didn’t want to move. Bread, cupcakes… was that lemons? My brain and voice didn’t want to work, so I stayed silent.
I stayed silent as he rocked me back and forth with his body, whispering the kindest things into my ear. He had one hand rubbing up and down my back, sometimes reaching between my shoulder blades, softening the ever-growing ache there. Could he feel them? The scars where my wings used to be.
“You’re okay.”
“You’re safe.”
“I’m here, El.”
“I’m so proud of you.”
“I’ll never let you go.”
Don’t let me go,I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him I knew. I knew he would keep me safe, despite how ugly the inside of my brain was. Deep down, I think I always knew Crescent would be the one to save me.
He pulled away after a while, his eyes darting over every inch of my battered face. “Do you think we could get you cleaned up?”
“Yeah.” I fought to keep my voice steady. “I think so. Do you have a mop?”
“Why a mop?”
I looked down at the mess we were sitting in. “To clean this up.”
Rubbing his hand up and down my back again, he shook his head. “Don’t worry about that. I can take care of it.”
“But—”
“No, Sunshine. I’ve got it.”
Sunshine? A red, hot blush started up my neck.Sunshine.
Crescent stammered through something close to anexplanation, his cheeks going equally as red. “I mean—oh, shit. I’m sorry. I don’t know?—”
“It’s okay.” I placed a hand over his cheek, looking at him—really looking at him—my best friend since elementary school, my number one, my ride or die, the crescent moon to my dwindling sun.
Something fluttered in my heart. An odd, itchy sensation I wasn’t accustomed to. “I, uh. I’ll go shower, I guess.” I looked away, starting to get off his lap.
“I’ll run you a bath.” He stood up slowly, reaching a hand out to help me up, too. “You can just soak and relax, and then we can talk a little bit after. Sound good?”
I wanted to refuse, but I wasn’t given the choice. He was already walking toward the bathroom, and I was left standing there, surrounded by Pine-Sol, suds, and stupid heartache. A throbbing set in as I looked around helplessly. A constant, worsening heartbeat in almost every part of my body.
My veins stuttered beneath the bruises on my face, curling over themselves in agony. When I twisted or flexed my stomach muscles, a sharp stab would make my breath hitch. Memories Jude left, still living, still breathing, still reminding me of every broken promise and hollow “I love you” he ever said to me.
When Crescent came back to let me know the bath was ready, I didn’t utter a single word. I bit back every wince of pain, trudging past him instead.
The water washot enough to create a steamy curtain,perfect for me to hide under. It became my camouflage, wrapping around each blemish I carried.
