When ten passed, I started to worry.
When fifteen passed, my teeth found my lower lip, chewing and gnawing on the skin there.
When twenty passed, something happened. Beneaththe guitar and drums in the song playing, a voice that wasn’t the singer’s started to whisper. Ever so softly. Ever so gently.
A woman’s voice with a slight growl. I couldn’t make out what she was saying yet, all of it too grumbly and… angry. Why was she so angry?
I could feel the venom in each word, coating my skin in a burning, numbing substance that ate away at my flesh. I didn’t need to know what she was saying tofeelthe vitriol in them. The singer’s voice started to rise, bordering on screaming straight into my eardrums. Louder and louder, falling into the main verse, until suddenly it wasn’t enough.
It wasn’t enough to cover the hatred in the woman’s voice, now joined by a man. Two voices, harmonizing their hatred for the same person. The same unfortunate soul. I turned the volume up, only for their voices to get louder and more enunciated.
“Liar.”
“Liar.”
“Fucking mistake.”
“Why are you even here?”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to tune them out. I tried to differentiate the voices in my head between the one singing, or yelling, or whatever he was doing into the mic. It didn’t matter.
Itneverfucking mattered.
A small bag of chips sat beside me on the bench, unopened, uneaten, completely forgotten. I wondered if the crunch would silence the hatred, but I knew it wouldn’t.
Just text me back, Elio.If he texted me back, then maybe they’d stop.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a shadow race across the field. I jerked my gaze in that direction, tracking the way it went, trying to figure out if it was real or just my imagination again.
My phone chimed and buzzed, the vibration tickling the side of my thigh. I raced to pick it up, typing in my passcode to get to my messages as quickly as possible.
Moon
If you keep ignoring me, I’m going to have to get mom and dad to go down there.
God fucking damn it. “Where are you, Elio?” I said it to the voices terrorizing me. They’d hear my question and laugh. I didn’t want to hear them laugh. I wanted them to shut the fuck up. I wanted them to leave me alone. I wanted to pretend they didn’t exist so I could go on with my life like a normal fucking person.
Moon
You’re an asshole, ya know that, Cres? We’re starting to worry about you.
I rubbed a hand down my face, my palm scraping across my unshaved stubble.
Me
I’m at work, Moon. I’ll call you when I’m off.
Moon
And I’m supposed to believe that?
Me
I promise
Moon
Ok, little brother. Whatever you say.
