We were surrounded by people. Why weren’t they helping me? I went to kick him when a fist slammed into my face.
I heard the impact, and it shocked me. I heard the cry in my voice. I fell against the wall, sliding down it until I was sitting in the snow.
Frozen. Pounding. Fuck, my head was pounding. Warmth slid down my face, and when I reached up, I could tell it was blood. Another punch to the face, this time to the nose.
My eyes watered, tears filling my vision as I tried to get up. I was frozen, stuck to the ground. Spending hours walking in the snow and freezing temperatures was getting to me. My muscles were tight, and my reaction time was shot to shit. I wasn’t sure if I could handle any more.
“You gonna let me take you somewhere or are you gonna keep screaming?”
The man towered over me. I was hunched over on the ground, trying to pick myself up, so I couldn’t see him, but I could feel him. Feel his tiger eyes on me, peering into my tainted soul. His boot slammed into my ribs, forcing me flat on the ground as I gasped and gasped,trying to find my air again. My lungs seized, shocked from the cold and the hit they’d just taken.
More shoes in the snow. I could hear them coming from somewhere.
“Hey! He said no, you cunt!”
I looked up fast. Too fast. The city lights swam in my vision. I knew that voice.
Jesse stood before me with two other men. The other two were much bigger than Jesse and much bigger than the man in the trench coat. My muscles relaxed a bit, allowing me to slump fully on the ground.
Snow covered my face, burning my skin after a few seconds. I could hear a commotion around me, but I wasn’t paying attention. First, I’d had to relive the awful reality I’d introduced Tobias to, which then caused me to spiral about my own shit. Then, I got cornered by a man who wanted a taste of my past.
Everything was too heavy. I was so cold that I wasn’t cold anymore. I knew that couldn’t be good.
I let myself get picked up from the ground, two sets of strong arms hoisting me up and ordering me to walk with them. Jesse walked in front, our guide to wherever the fuck he was taking us. Apparently, it wasn’t far. We stopped at a beat-up van. It was the ugliest fucking thing I’d ever seen, though I kept that to myself.
The door slid open, and I was pushed into it, hot air blasting me immediately. I slumped against the seat, allowing myself to warm up and relax.
Jesse sat beside me, a towel in hand, as he began to wipe the melting snow from my skin and clothes. “What the fuck are you doing out here, kid?”
Kid. I snickered at the phrase. “I wasn’t trying to work if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“Looked like you were tryna kill yourself,” one of the beefy guys spoke from the side, a thick accent on his tongue. Not like mine, but close.
I shook my head and grabbed a bottle of water that was offered to me. “Nah, just workin’ through some shit. The fuck are y’all doing here?”
Jesse sighed. He grabbed a blanket from the floorboard, laying it over me tenderly. “We live here. In this van, I mean. Pretty nice, huh?”
I chuckled with him. “Sure beats the streets.”
We worked on getting me warm and hydrated for a while, even though I knew the heat was getting to the two beefy dudes. They didn’t speak much, aside from the one comment I had gotten. The silent types, it seemed.
After feeding me a granola bar, Jesse turned the heat down one notch. We hadn’t been there all that long, but it felt like a lifetime. “Are you gonna tell me what you’re doing here, working through shit without your man? You could’ve gotten seriously hurt, Crew.”
“Would that have been so bad?” I sat up straighter, already feeling better. “I’ve been asking for it for so long, maybe it’s fuckin’ karma.”
Beefy dude without an accent chimed in. “What bullshit are you trying to punish yourself for? Murder?”
Murder? Why was that the first thing he thought of?
“Isaac, stop,” Jesse admonished him with a clipped frown before turning back to me. “Is that what this is about? Guilt? I thought I told you to find happiness. Be with your new boo.”
My phone made an appearance, buzzing repeatedly in my pocket for the millionth time. Jesse raised an eyebrow, looking down at the buzzing and then back at me.
I couldn’t help but feel utterly ashamed and embarrassed under his gaze. “I can’t tell him.”
“Sure you can.”
“No, like, I physically can’t. When I try, I panic. That’s what happened today. I fucking panicked and I ran. That’s what I do.”
