“Don’t worry about the mean customers, man. I was so angry at myself that I thought I was angry at you. We can handle what we canhandle, and what we can’t…” He looked to the side and shrugged. “We can’t. That’s the life of a rent boy. That’smylife. It don’t have to be yours. You know that, right?”
I sighed, long and winded. My shoulders drooped, and my chest relaxed as I let go of a million pounds of weight, leaving me defeated and hopeless.
Looking into the man’s eyes, I told him a truth I never imagined I’d admit to. “I don’t know how to live without pain.”
“You’ll figure it out. Does your man hurt you?”
“What? No—God, no, he’d never.”
“Good. Then go find him and fall in love without pain. It’d be a good start.”
After a final pat on my shoulder, the sex worker who’d helped beat me up for ruining his life walked away. He left me stunned, rooted to the frozen ground with a million thoughts running through my mind.
Just before he made it too far away, I called out to him. “Hey, what’s your name?”
“They call me Golden on the streets. Only my friends know my real name.”
“Thank you, Golden.” My voice carried through the air, lulling against the irritated honks of pissed-off drivers.
Golden shot me a smile over his shoulder, the glint of tears falling from his honey eyes. “You can call me Jesse. That’s my real name.”
Just above the cold winter wind and the lively Christmas music that played down the street, I could hear ice shattering. It was loud in my ears, booming against my eardrums. My hands were shaking as I subconsciously traced my thigh.
As I pressed down on the cuts hidden beneath my black jeans, I realized where the shattering was coming from. The shock of pain kept my head from going hazy.
The broken ice began to melt in my chest. Right where my heart used to be, encased in the purest of blue ice.
Crew waslate and it made me itch. He was working a half-day, but his time should’ve started twenty minutes ago. I knew he had an appointment, though he didn’t tell me what for. Hopefully, it just ran late, and he was fine.
But he wasn’t answering my texts, which only worried me further.
Heaving myself out of my office chair, I walked into the kitchen. Tobias was cleaning the grill, and Callum was standing beside him, no doubt talking the poor guy’s ear off. I loved it when they had fun at work. It made the environment enjoyable, which brought up morale. Unfortunately, Layla was slacking off too and they had a lot of shit to do. More unfortunately, I was their boss, so I had to make sure they got shit done.
I hefted my clipboard onto the metal table closest to me, a loud clang echoing through the room and disrupting them. “All right! I know you guys had so much fun with Brandt while I was sick, and I’m sure you feel like you can actually breathe now that I’m back, but we have work to do. Let’s go, let’s go!” I clapped my hands together, ignoring my staff’s groans of protest.
When I got in this morning, I had a new asshole torn into me by Brandt-The-Rant himself. It was long and insufferable. All he told me was that shit was behind that he could’ve done himself but chose not to.
A pattering of feet came from behind me. Expecting Brandt, I steeled myself before turning around, only to see Crew standing there, looking drop-dead fucking gorgeous.
“Crew! Wassup? Likin’ the new ’do!” Callum hollered, ignoring that he was close enough to not have to.
Crew gave Callum a stilted nod before settling back on me. “Hey, boss.”
“You’re late.”
“Am I?” He tilted his head, peering at the clock behind my shoulder. “Looks like I am.”
Grabbing my clipboard, I hitched my thumb towards the hallway. “In my office. Close the door. I’ll be there in a moment.”
“Yes, Sir.”
The itching stopped. In its place, I was burning from the inside out. The pit of my stomach was fire, lapping at the walls around it as it threatened to set me aflame. Crew looked delicious, and I desperately needed a taste.
Callum turned my way, pausing his cooking when he shouldn’t be. “Come on, Price. Don’t go too hard on him, yeah? First time he’s been late like this.”
“I’ll do as I see fit. Focus on your work, everyone. If you need me, knock. But you better not need me.”
With a last warning glare, I made my way down the hallway. I tried to look like I wasn’t in a rush, and I had no idea if I’d failed or not.
