I rolled my eyes and made a poor attempt at trying to yank my hand back. “If you’re gonna go with the whole nice guy savior act, then why the hell are you even here, huh? Nice guys don’t prowl the streets. High and mighty ones don’t pick up an injured puppy just to dick ’em around and throw ’em back out.”
I was arguing for arguing’s sake.I didn’t want to leave.I wanted to leave. I didn’t want to touch his lips to mine.I wanted to maul his luscious, full fucking lips.
I didn’t know what I wanted. I knew what my body craved. I knew what my mind was saying. The water was too deep, too close to my mouth and nose.
“First of all, I never claimed to be nice or high and mighty or whatever. Second of all, I’m not throwing you back out. I got this place for the night, so you can sleep here.”
“There it is! Right there!” A man who did what Price did wasn’t innocent. He had to understand that. I needed him to understand that, or I’d truly be forced to walk away. Everything inside of me was begging to leave, sounding alarms at the danger in front of me. The danger ofsoft, gentle touches, I wasn’tallowedto feel without consequence. My feet were stuck, though. Once again, I was captive under his gaze.
I pulled back a bit when I felt Price’s hold on my wrist falter. “I have a home, you ignorant ass. That’s what I mean by high and mighty. You picked me up, taking my time away from me, and you should know that time literally equals money to me.” With a frustrated sigh, I pinched the bridge of my nose to try and clear my mind.
“Now you’re calling me stupid?” His nose scrunched, an incredulous tone in his voice. “Well, you sure are a ray of sunshine.”
“I didn’t say stupid, I said ignorant and ass.”
“That’s the same thing.”
“No, Price, it isn’t. Google exists, use it.”
He heaved a deep sigh, shaking his head. “Okay, this isn’t going anywhere.”
“Glad we can agree on that. Excuse me, I need to go scrounge up the money you’ve made me lose.” I went to push past him and grab my jacket when one of his hands stopped me by my shoulder. It startled me, forcing a hissed “What?” from my lips.
Price looked straight at me, and again, I was too afraid of what I’d see if I looked into his eyes. “Let me pay for your time. Please.” He sounded defeated, almost.
I narrowed my eyes, refusing immediately. “Absolutely not. I’m not letting you pay when we haven’t done anything for you to pay for.”
His eyelids fell shut briefly, a lull passing between us. When he opened them, I couldn’t bring myself to interrupt him. “Then let me get you off. I won’t hit you. I won’t leave bruises. Let me show you what it feels like when you aren’t hurting.”
There was another decision before me. One that could ruin my life. Price had no idea what line he was begging me to cross. He had no way of understanding that it wasn’t as simple as letting him be gentle. That it was a monumental task of giving in. I didn’t know what would happen if I gave in because I’d never done it before.
Well, that was a lie, and I knew it. I had given in plenty of times—once when I was a kid, the first slice of a razor against my skin in the solitude of my locked bathroom, the first time I listened to the voice in my head and took my first client—the list went on, but they were all in the past. I was tired. Tired of holding back, giving in, and then regretting it.
What scared me the most was that I desperately wanted to. God, did I want to give in to Price. For once, I was face-to-face with a man who craved me but didn’t want to hurt me. What did it feel like not to be hurt?
Fuck, I had no idea. I wanted to know, but I didn’t want to lose control. I didn’t want to lose more of myself than I had left.
Taking a steadying breath, I looked into Price’s eyes. I was right to be scared before as there was nothing there except a never-ending depth of kindness and compassion.
A rolling field of sunflowers. A never-ending bonfire.
“If I say yes, what will you do?”
The question seemed to shock him, which was ironic because it shocked me just as much. “Well”—he placed his palm onto my cheek, the softness of it startling me—“I would ask you to strip down to nothing, and after looking my fill, I’d urge you to sit on the bed. I wouldn’t demand it; I’d ask for it.” He rubbed his thumb over my bottom lip, hypnotizing me with the slow movement.
“Then, I’d wrap my hand around your cock, stroke you with a loose grip and an unhurried pace, bringing you right where I want you. It wouldn’t be urgent.” Leaning closer, his breath wafted just over my lips, and his eyes finally glowed with something I understood. Lust. “I’d make you feel like it was, though. I would tease you, bring you right to the edge, and back off immediately. I’d whisper sweet encouragements right into your ear, over and over, telling you how good you were doing.”
Goosebumps raced through my body as a shudder forced its way through me. It sounded so enticing, so different from what I was used to. Most of the time, I didn’t even come with the Johns I let ruin me. That wasn’t the point. My endgame wasn’t to get off. I just needed to be used and brutalized the only way I knew how. Right now, Price was looking at me with awe and hunger I wasn’t familiar with, and he hadn’t mentioned getting off himself. He was focused on my pleasure, which was weird and hot all at the same time.
I played tug-of-war with my mind and body. I was officially hard as steel and aching behind my jeans for a man I didn’t know. I was losing control.
When I spoke, it was rough and shaky, and Price was so fuckingclose that I was sure he could smell the turmoil that lived at the back of my throat. “What if I don’t wanna sit on the bed? What if I don’t wanna strip? What will you do if I can’t hold off and I come too quickly?” I couldn’t give in so easily. I needed to fight. I needed to challenge or my existence would mean nothing.
“What are you most comfortable with, Pretty Boy?”
Pretty Boy.
Oh, fuck. I shuddered, entirely caught off guard when Price gently cradled the nape of my neck and tilted my head. He kissed me on the other side, slow and sensual. Unhurried. Just like he’d said.
