The moment he opened the door, I was assaulted with color. The walls were painted a light blue, and a rich orange along the trim. Paintings of every style were hung strategically, most of them bright and eye-catching.
His bedspread was a mixture of blue and orange, too. A rug lay in the center of the room, a repeating floral print with reds, blues, oranges, and yellows that brought everything together.
I thought back to Price’s office, remembering the sticky notes, organizing tabs, and various office supplies he harbored. There had been little pieces of himself there I had missed.
The bedroom was meticulous. Nothing was out of place, and no matter how hard I looked, I couldn’t find a single speck of dust.
“Do you like it?” Price gestured in front of himself.
I found myself walking further into the room, stepping past the threshold to peruse the little knickknacks that sat on top of the nightstand by his bed. “It’s amazing.” I looked over at him with a smile. Itruly meant that. Usually, a spread like he’d chosen would be harsh on the eyes, but everything was artistically placed. “Are you secretly a home designer?”
He barked a short laugh, shaking his head. “Absolutely not. I had some help from a friend when I first moved in.”
Gliding my fingertips along the luscious duvet atop his bed, I tried to think of who he could’ve been talking about. Price had never mentioned any friends before. “You know you’re not getting your deposit back, right?”
“Pshh.” He plopped onto his back, sprawling out on the left side of the bed. “I wouldn’t have gotten it back either way.”
“True.”
Price watched me as I explored. I didn’t look at him, but I could feel his eyes on me with every step I took. Whether I was stalling for time or truly invested in his bedroom, not even I was sure.
I turned my head as I heard him pat the spot beside him. “Set your bag down and come here.”
The closest thing to me was a large ottoman that sat in front of the foot of the bed. Dropping my bag on top of it, I inched closer, seating myself right on the edge of the bed. The mattress almost swallowed me whole, soft and pliable beneath me. I could only imagine how it felt to lie on it. It was leagues better than what Willow and I had at home.
“Don’t be shy.” Price pulled the blankets up, situating himself underneath them and leaving an open spot for me. “Get under here.”
With how he was positioned, it was like he was inviting me to cuddle with him.
I didn’t cuddle.
This felt like a trap of some sort. An alluring, comfy-sounding trap that made my survival instincts stand on edge.
Slowly, I turned further towards him. “Uh, what are we doing exactly?”
“Cuddling, of course.”
“I don’t cuddle,” I said way too fast.
Price had caught onto the pain in my voice, choosing to latch onto it. “Then who was in my arms when I woke up in your bed?”
Narrowing my eyes at him, I cursed in my head. “That was my demonic doppelgänger.”
“Right, okay. Let me put it this way.” He raised onto one elbow, holding his head with his palm. “You didn’t use to cuddle. You do with me, though. We’re working towards a goal here. You have to get used to the feel of me before you can accept what I have to offer.”
Why did he have to throw logic where logic didn’t belong? The memory of waking up next to him hadn’t stopped replaying in my mind since it happened.
Neither did the memory of the fear I had felt. It was like something was crawling along my skin, making little holes on its way up my body.
I knew without a doubt that if I started this, those little holes would become tears, and my true self would rip out from underneath them. Once he saw that—once Price saw the real me—it would all be over. My facade would come crashing down, breaking the walls I’d built to protect myself.
But wasn’t that why I’d begged Price for this? There was a tether between us that was pulling and pulling, bringing me closer to him. I wasn’t strong enough to stand my ground. My body was exhausted.
Cuddling while I was unconscious or deep in a sleeping daze was completely different from deliberately letting him embrace me.
Intimacy was fucking terrifying.
Thinking of the warmth I knew would be waiting for me, I tried to distract myself as I crawled underneath the blankets with him. It was an awkward shuffle made even worse by the fact that we were both fully clothed. Usually, I’d be stark naked by the time I made it into another man’s bed.
