Pilly landed right on my lap, a smirking Willow manhandling her like she wasn’t the most fragile, loved possession I owned. “’Cus you’re a stubborn brat. I also just have a hunch. The way you talk about ’im. The panicked look in his eyes when I went off on him, yet he sat there and took it like he wasn’t about to go nowhere.”
“Willow, honey, your toxic positivity and Southern is showing—Ow!” I clutched my arm where she’d slugged me, tucking it against myself. “What the fuck was that for?”
All our years of friendship had prepared me for the fire in her eyes, yet it still made my veins pump ice when I saw it. “You’re being a dick, Crew.”
“It doesn’t matter what you think, you know. It’s complicated. I’m not relationship material. Price agreed to just fucking.”
She was like a dog with a bone. I could see it. The gears turned as she tried to think of the next way to force information out of me. “Who brought that idea up in the first place?”
I looked down at Pilly, running my fingers over her silk sheet. “Me.”
“I knew it! You don’t know if you’re relationship material because you won’t even try, so you decided on something mutually satisfying but lacks any emotional attachment.”
I turned my head, narrowing my eyes at her. “Since when did you graduate with a degree in psychology? I’m not calling you Doctor.”
Her shoulders slumped. “I’m serious, Crew. I get it, and I also don’t. You do the same hiding-away shit with me. I’m not a psychiatrist, I’ve just known you since we were kids.”
Yeah, I knew that. Willow knew enough about me to ruin my life in ten seconds flat if I ever ran for president. She didn’t know all my dirty secrets, but she knew enough.
Just like I do with her, she knew most of my tells. She understood the way I deflected conversation or hid information about myself.
It was thewhyshe had no idea about. Why I was closed off. Why I detested emotional vulnerability. Why I sell myself to men who ruined my body, mind, and soul instead of trying anything real with someone like Price.
With a heavy sigh, I let the couch eat me alive. If I didn’t look at her, I could pretend I was speaking aloud to myself in the dark confines of a locked room. “I’m too scared.”
A warm, manicured hand covered one of my own. Willow leaned her head against my shoulder, her curly hair tickling my jaw. “I know. Sometimes, the best things in life scare us the most. You have to take a leap of faith and do it scared instead of not doing it at all.”
I imagined it was Mom talking to me instead of Willow. When I was younger, Mom seemed wiser. When I was sad or anxious, she’d scoopme up into her arms and give me the best advice that perfectly matched the situation.
If she didn’t know what to say or do, she’d tell me that.
“I’m not sure, honey. How about we figure it out together? Even old farts like me gotta keep learnin’ a thing or two. It’s how we stay young.”
Maybe all the stress I’d put on her made her stop wanting to learn. Instead, she chose the same kind of men and the same brand of alcohol to drown herself in.
Where Willow had learned to be so wise, I wasn’t sure. I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, refusing to tell her that I wouldn’t do what she said.
It wasn’t just fear. It was the certainty that shit would blow up in my face and, subsequently, Price’s. Willow thought I could be relationship material if I tried. I knew I wasn’t.
No matter who I got close to, a ghost would follow. A demon that had followed me for over a decade and would follow me to my grave.
Thompson’s laugh echoed in my head, proving my point right then and there. It was nasally, no longer serene like when I was younger. In hindsight, I’d have covered my ears each time he’d opened his mouth if I knew what I did now.
If only I could forget the sound of his goddamn voice.
All right,I may have to rethink what Willow said. Temporary could go out the window if it meant I could taste Price’s cooking regularly. I’d been late getting to his house, so late that I didn’t notice he’d called me twice, trying to make sure I hadn’t gotten into a horrible accident on my way here.
When I arrived, he’d blown out a puff of breath, his face so deeply etched with concern that my heart had skipped a beat or two.
Price had been worried about me. I couldn’t remember the last time someone other than Willow had worried about me like that. It was as endearing as it was terrifying.
Then, he’d sat me down to a feast worthy of a five-star restaurant. I moaned around my fork, letting my eyes flutter back as the flavors exploded on my tongue.
Aperfect mixture of sweet and savory. I had to chase my bite with a napkin to my face, wiping an embarrassing amount of sauce off the corner of my mouth. “Price, this is so fucking good. What even is this?” I mumbled through a full mouth. My manners had vanished the moment I saw the food spread.
“I’m glad you like it. Have you had duck before?”
“Is that what this is? It’s so fucking tender.” And juicy beyond belief. Better than any meat I’d ever eaten.
