Crew hissed through his teeth. “Oof, that’s rough.”
“Yeah, my schedule is already chaotic, and now I have to find time to do one-on-ones with Tobias. Which wouldn’t be a problem if I didn’t already have a million other things to do.”
The stress of it was crowding my already fucked-up head. I knew the importance of working with the kid, and I knew it wouldn’t be difficult. I just didn’t know how to fit it into my daily bullshit, along with Brandt being a tyrant.
Movement perked my head up from the papers in front of me, Crew standing to grab my long-running to-do list. “Tell me which of these I can handle, and I will.”
“You sure?”
“Yep. Otherwise, you’d drown in it all and get cranky like an old, wrinkled grandpa with a chip on his shoulder.”
“Wouldn’t want that to happen.”
“It already has. I’m just being nice about it.”
I shot him a glare, trying my best to hide the smile that threatened to show. When Crew laughed, nothing else mattered. His eyes lit up, the gorgeous blue of them striking me where I sat.
Seeing him full of life was a rare gift, I’d noticed. I knew to treasure it whenever possible, understanding that it could disappear at any moment.
Pushing back my chair, I leaned against it with my hands clasped in front of me. “There’s something I want to add to that list specifically for you.”
Crew was quick to answer, not even looking up as he read the long, tiring list of tasks. “Sure, what is it?”
Being around Crew, even though it was only for a few minutes, had cleared my mind just enough to make a decision about the near future. Something that frightened me to my core. I knew the moment I put my decision into words, I’d begin my descent into something I wouldn’t walk away from unscathed.
With his attention elsewhere, Crew couldn’t see my smirk, so I hoped he could hear it in my voice. “I’m going to give you one week. A week from today, I want you to go home after work, pack a bag, and come to my house. We’ll have dinner, talk, and get comfortable. We will both have our test results by then and will be able to divulge whether we are both negative or not.”
“I don’t even have a doctor here yet?—”
I held my hand up, pausing his disruption. “I will give you time off work to sort everything out if you need it. A week should be plenty of time. I know a good office close by if you need a recommendation.”
Crew looked at me, his eyes wide, mouth parted slightly. I could see his cheeks begin to pink, a blush creeping up his neck. His voice was breathy when he spoke, his hands fidgety as he squirmed in his seat. “Okay, and then what?”
I leaned forward again, placing my elbows on my desk. My gaze never left his, hoping I was burning my desire into his mind. His soul.
I wondered if he needed me just as much as I needed him. “Ifeverything is clear, when you’re ready, I will lead you into my bedroom. I’m going to kiss you, touch you, and swallow your soft pleas for more because I know you’ll want more. And then I will give you your first lesson on accepting gentleness by taking you apart piece by piece, only to put you back together again.”
He didn’t need to know that in doing so, I’d be losing pieces of myself with him. Pieces that couldn’t be returned.
I knew two things about the future with certainty: one being that someday, I would die. The other was that once the next five months ended, I would be nothing but a shell, begging time to speed up and claim me with a bitter end.
Who knewa piece of paper could feel so heavy in my hands? The remnants of the shredded envelope sat beside me on the beat-up couch Willow and I loved. Exactly seven days had passed since Price gave me a list of mundane tasks to complete, with one exception.
Our shift felt like it dragged on for years. When I got home, I immediately packed a change of clothes, toiletries, and my emotional support pillow, which I had never slept without.
Pilly, the pillow, had followed me from Arkansas. She was one of the few things I’d refused to give up when Willow and I left. Her silk pillowcase and heavenly memory foam held more sentimental value than I’d ever care to admit. Unless there were extreme circumstances, Pilly came with me wherever my head would lie for the night.
I was nervous as fuck. Price falling asleep in my bed that first night had been a mistake. We were both worn out, too exhausted to part with each other during my emotional outburst.
Tonight, it was planned and implied that I would stay with him. It was another way to differentiate Price from any of my other clients, yet it was equally as terrifying as it was relieving.
I had put a time frame on us. Whateverusexactly was—I was too afraid to figure it out. My attraction and draw to him was dangerous. I hadn’t allowed myself the opportunity to get involved with someone on an emotional level since I was thirteen. I knew that’s what would happen if I didn’t limit myself with Price.
Without a defined ending, I would fall for his gentle hands, amber eyes, and fragile, protective heart.
That wasn’t an option.
Not for me. I was too fucked up. My heart was shriveled, a husk within a corpse waiting to crumble to ash. I couldn’t kid myself intothinking I could handle a romantic relationship with Price. I had been rotten to the core for ten years. My decay would only spread to him, tearing him apart from the inside out.
