My path in life drove me to think I wasn’t worthy of anything. Not even the essence of my mother’s love. Like I always said, she wasn’t the best mom, but I never doubted that she loved me growing up. She did everything she could with what she had.
Willow once told me that when she thought about my future, she saw a gravestone. She was terrified her best friend would kill himself before he turned twenty-four. Now I was nearing twenty-six, and instead of being lowered into a grave, I was visiting one from the topside. I was ready to confront what I’d refused to admit I was missing.
After all these years, I worried I would forget where Mom was buried. My body, or maybe my soul, knew exactly where to go, though. Price followed closely behind me. The cemetery here was larger than Tiger Falls. Most of the gravestones were decorated in some way.
Mom’s had a single sunflower placed on the left of it. It was fake, so it could withstand every season. Her favorite flower.
Seeing the stone had me slowing my pace. Blond hair and red nails. Mauve lipstick. Fresh sugar cookies on Christmas morning. All of it lay beneath the gray, square stone I picked out seven years ago.
A willow tree was etched into it. Below the tree was a large glacier wading in water. The two of them together made no sense to anyone else. To Mom, it would’ve meant everything. Her baby boy, obsessed with the Arctic Ocean, and the child she didn’t give birth to, but loved all the same. Her little willow tree that kept me afloat.
The dates of her birth and death blurred in my vision as I dropped to my knees. “Hi, Mom.”
Price sat beside me, resting one of his hands on my thigh. “Hi, Ms. Hayes.”
I huffed a tearful laugh. “You’d hate him for being so formal. Mom, this is Price. The love of my life.”
“Hi, Melissa. I’m glad I got to meet you. You raised a good man.”
My chest felt warm and full. Talking to her ghost settled a deep yearning I had ignored for far too long. “I know it’s been a while. I didn’t take the best road in life. Took me a while to get my shit together. I didn’t want to show up a mess, y’know?” I traced the willow tree with my eyes, glancing at the sunflower sitting to the side.
Mom was so much more than a single sunflower. She was rolling hills, smothered in yellow, a breathtaking view very few got to see. “Price helped me get my shit together. Willow, too. I never did bring a boy home when you were alive, huh?” I took Price’s hand in mine, squeezing it. “Guess I just had to wait for the right one.”
A cold breeze blew through the blistering heat, cooling the back of my neck. I leaned into it, letting my head fall back as my eyes closed. The sun was bright behind my eyelids. A silhouette appeared, blocking the light. It had long hair, wavy just like mine. Her arms were wide open, inviting me into a hug I could still feel if I focused on it.
“Now that he has me,” Price took over the silence. “I won’t let anything happen to him. I love your son more than anything, Melissa. Thank you for bringing someone so amazing into this world.”
I smiled to myself and opened my eyes. I was about to say something when a flash of red caught my attention. Just to the right of her gravestone, something was peeking up from the ground.
Curious, I smoothed my hand over the dry dirt and picked it up,cradling it close to my chest. My breath caught in my throat, my lungs convulsing as I fought the urge to sob. Tears ran down my face, cooling the moment the wind blew over them.
“Thanks for bringing him to me, Mom.” I squeezed the red and gold Christmas ornament one more time before placing it next to the sunflower.
Rushingwater cut through the air around us. I laughed as I tugged Price by the wrist, leading him through the rough terrain.
“Come on, Prince Charming. Pick your feet up and stop running into rocks.”
“That’s literally impossible when everything is rocks, Pretty Boy. Literally impossible.”
He looked so stressed out, but so adorable. Willow and I trekked this hill almost every day for years. It was in my blood. My body guided me where I needed to go, picking up my legs whenever I found a branch that tried to take me out.
I could admit it was a bit rough. The area was a mix of dirt, gravel, sand, and fallen tree limbs. Southern nature made you work for its beauty.
When we got over the hill, Price stopped behind me to catch his breath while I marveled. Straight in the middle, there was a rickety concrete bridge barely wide enough for one car to pass. Each side had a hole for passing water, causing awhooshingsound around us.
The creek bed was covered with sand. I had no idea where it came from, but I loved it. Trees lined the bank, birds chirping from their branches to sing us a song of summer. The water was the shallowest close to where we stood. It was clear enough I could see rocks and small fish swimming in them.
I walked up to the bank and took my shoes off. Kneeling, I waved Price over to take a closer look. “There’s tadpoles. See?” I pointed to a group of large green and black-specked tadpoles. “Those are gonna turn into bullfrogs.”
“Whoa. I’ve never seen these before.”
“Willow and I scooped some up once and watched them grow. They get big really fast. When they grow legs, it’s really weird lookin’.”
“Of course you did.” He laughed.
We made our way into the water, me as the guide. We were all alone, allowed to bask in my childhood safety net. The sun was brutal enough that I regretted not bringing sunscreen.
The water, on the other hand, was blissfully cool against my legs. It got deeper the farther we went, pushing us to share the water with the fish that swam through it. Price was originally worried about the wildlife, asking if we would be safe. He seemed to be more comfortable now.
