Faith pulled the other rocking chair over and sat down next to her nan. She looked past the new-window sticker into the house. Casey, her mom, and Isabella were laughing at something, cards spread across the table.
“Did the carpenter leave?” Nan asked.
“Yes. He only stayed for one drink.”
“Mm.” She looked down at her margarita, swirling the melting ice around in the glass. “I was hoping to catch him. I have some ideas about improvements. Wouldn’t a built-in shelf look just perfect over by the sofa on that wall?” She glanced in through the window. “He could add some cabinets…”
It was good for Jake that he’d left when he had. Faith was sure he didn’t need a ninety-year-old renter telling him what improvements to make. It wasn’t hers to change, and that fact settled heavy in Faith’s chest. She had to keep reminding herself that it wasn’t their cottage.
Nan was never worried about offering her opinion. The good thing about that was that one never had to guess what she was thinking. She’d be more than happy to let everyone know—good or bad. She’d made sure to tell Faith what she thought about her attending college so far away, and she’d let them know when she thought they were being obtuse about the whole Scott issue. Nan didn’t approve of Casey’s behavior—she’d told them both that—but she was determined not to let anything come between the sisters. She’d demanded that Faith come to visit them when Casey had been in town staying with her mother. She looked to find ways to get Faith to drop in, but Faith had conveniently made excuses until the day Casey left to go back to Boston.
“Faith,” she’d said afterwards, that day, “you have to let it go.” It had been easier said than done back then. All her life, Casey had been the center of attention, always getting what she wanted, and Faith had sat in her shadow. Faith hadn’t wanted to be around her sister, but as their separation increased, she realized how much she missed Casey. She could see now just how right her grandmother had been. If only she’d listened and tried sooner. Well, she was going to try now.
“You know, your grandfather didn’t like me to drink alcohol. He said it wasn’t ladylike.”
“And what didyouthink?”
“I told him that a lady is a lady whether she’s having a drink or not, and how she handles herself is an expression of the type of person she is.”
“What did he say to that?”
“He smiled and shook his head at me. He knew I was right.” She winked at Faith. “But I still never had a drink in front of him.”
“Why?”
“Respect. I loved him. He didn’t like to see me having a drink, clearly. So, I didn’t bother. I respected his wishes.”
“Why are you having one now?” She knew her grandmother’s loyalty to her grandfather, so she was quite curious to hear the answer.
“I figured I’d better, if I want one, because in no time at all I’ll be looking for John, and, once I find him, I won’t be thinking about this drink anymore.” She offered a devious smile.
Faith laughed. She longed to have someone in her life that she loved that much. The type of love Nan had for her grandfather seemed unattainable. Faith had had relationships in the past, but she just didn’t feel like she’d loved anyone like Nan had loved her husband. Scott had been the first of the relationships she’d had that had actually meant something to her, but it was nothing like what Nan seemed to have had. At the time, she’d thought she loved Scott in this way, but once she met Patrick, she realized she’d been wrong. Patrick had been kind, considerate and Faith had cared for him, but she hadn’t wanted to give up her career for him. She’d been heartbroken when their relationship had ended, but now, looking back, she realized that she’d often had to work hard just to make things run smoothly between them. Had Nan had these types of problems with John? If she had, she’d never mentioned them. It made Faith wonder if, perhaps, the problem wasn’t finding the time, it was finding the right person. Maybe one day she’d find someone who would make her so crazy in love that she wouldn’t think about anything else.
“I’m glad I did this,” Nan said, rocking a little in her chair. Faith watched Nan’s eyes as she followed a seagull through the sky. It looked black against the orange sunlight. For the first time, Faith thought about how her grandmother must have felt losing the cottage. It had been a big part of her life too. What memories did she have of her visits? Had she been there with Faith’s grandfather? The drive had been tough on her—she’d said so. Her legs and ankles were swollen from sitting so long in the car. She could barely make it up all the stairs once she arrived. Faith was sure she was sore and tired just from the journey. But she’d wanted to come. She’d planned it. And now, she sat, drinking a margarita, on the same plot of land she’d run on as a kid. Originally, Faith didn’t understand why she’d put herself through it at ninety years old. But now she did. This might be the last time Nan got to visit this place. A sinking feeling hit Faith in the gut as she thought about life without Nan. She didn’t even want to contemplate that, but there was no escaping the fact that she wouldn’t be around forever. Suddenly, all the drama with Casey seemed a little silly when faced with that.
“I’m glad you did this too,” she said as she put her hand on top of Nan’s.
Her mom poked her head out the door. “Y’all seen Casey? Is she out here?”
They both shook their heads.
“Maybe she went out to the car or something. There’s no telling. Anyone want more drinks or are we finished for the night?”
“I’m finished, thank you,” Faith said. “Nan?” She looked over at her grandmother, chewing on a smile. She had such a young spirit. It was easy to forget that she was ninety, but being with her now, Faith could see some differences in Nan. She was slower, more hesitant. At heart, though, she was the same fiery woman. It was so good to be with her again.
“I’ve got enough right here,” she said.
When her mom went back inside, Faith noticed Casey down on the beach. “Mind if I leave you now?” she asked, nodding toward her sister. Nan followed her gaze, thoughts clearly behind her eyes. She nodded with a pleasant smile.
“But before you go,” Nan said as she stood up. Faith stopped and turned toward her. “I don’t know what’s bothering Casey—she hasn’t told me—but you two need to talk it out. Life’s too short to tuck important conversations in your pocket for later. You just never know. I had an argument with my sister, Clara. You never met her. We didn’t straighten things out, and now it’s too late.”
Faith started to sit back down, ready to hear about this mystery sister of Nan’s, but Nan stopped her. “No, no,” she said, waving her hand. “Don’t bother with me and my old stories. Go check on Casey. It looks like she may need someone to talk to.”
Perhaps it was a story for another time. Faith walked around the corner and headed down the steps. At the bottom, she kicked her flip-flops off and put her toes in the warm sand. It was soft—like powder—under her feet. She padded along the narrow path, through the sea grass, over the dune leading to the beach. It was late afternoon, and the sand, having absorbed the day’s heat, burned her feet a little as she made her way across the vast shoreline to reach Casey. Her sister was at the water’s edge, barefoot, standing in the waves as the foam crawled across the sand before sliding back out to sea. The wind blew Faith’s hair into her face, her T-shirt rippling under its force. She pushed her hair back and held it at the base of her neck as she stepped up next to her sister.
“Whacha doin’?” she asked Casey the same way she had as a girl. Faith drew a line in the sand with her brightly painted toes and watched it disappear as the tide erased it.
“Just thinking. Trying to clear my head.”
