“Go hang out with Jake,” her mom whispered. “I’ll be fine cleaning up. “It’s rude to leave him sitting on his own.” He’d tried to help, but she’d shooed him away too.
Faith looked over at him. He was on the sofa. Any minute he’d get up to leave, she was sure of it. So she walked over and asked if he’d like to sit outside a while. Perhaps he, too, was trying to be polite because he agreed. They went out to sit in the rocking chairs. They rocked in silence, and in that moment, Faith realized it didn’t matter how her life unfolded. She’d take this memory here and now.
TWENTY
Everyone had gone to bed, and she and Jake were still sitting in the rockers. Faith pulled her hair over one shoulder, the texture of it like yarn from the salty air. She wondered why Jake hadn’t gotten up to leave, but she didn’t mind. She wasn’t tired anyway.
“This is what I love about the Outer Banks,” he said.
“How can you love sitting on this porch, looking at this beach, when you want to knock everything down and fill the beaches with towering hotels?”
“I meant that I loved the view. And I can have this view from atowering hotel.”
As she watched the thoughts surface behind his eyes again, something struck her: Everything she knew about Jake went against this idea that he liked all of the developments he was planning. He did handyman work for fun, he shopped at the local surf shops, he took her family on a boat ride to that little, secluded beach. There wasn’t much about his personality that demonstrated that he liked the kinds of places he was building. So, what was driving him? It was the same thing that had driven her to be successful in her job, to build herself up, to be strong. Failure. He was trying to overcome failure. Was he trying to prove a point to his ex-wife that he could do bigger, better things?
“I don’t believe that’s what you want.”
“Sorry?”
“Nothing about those places reminds me of you. There’s not a bit of your character in those developments. The Tides? That’s not you. You don’t eat stuffy meals with cloth napkins. You can, and you have, but you wouldn’t choose it. You don’t want these high-rise hotels and resorts any more than I do.”
“Don’t try to tell me what I want. I had enough of that with my ex.”
“I’m not telling you what you want. I’m pointing out what I know. You don’t have to fluff out your feathers with me. I do think you’re good enough. I think you’re great, actually. You don’t need anything fancy to prove that to me.”
Jake didn’t say anything. He just turned and looked straight ahead.
Faith looked out into the pitch black of the ocean, the sky like a bowl of stars above them. “I’ve never been to any other beach and that’s okay. I’ll get there. All my life, I’ve wanted to see Key West. But I’ve only just now realized why I haven’t gone. It’s because, without someone to share it with, it’s just a place like anywhere else. You can turn the Outer Banks into something different, but unless you have someone to share it with, it’s just another resort.”
He looked at her, his thoughts evident. Then, he turned his head back toward the sound of the sea. She could tell that he wasn’t angry. He was just taking it all in.
“How long have you been single?” she asked.
“Two years.” Then, without warning, he began to talk. It was so surprising that Faith almost didn’t take in the words. “My divorce with my ex-wife was final two years ago. I didn’t give her enough attention,” he admitted. “Rebecca didn’t like that. She wanted me to make these grand gestures all the time to show my love for her. She asked me why I never got her flowers and why I didn’t have champagne on a random Tuesday. I’m learning what to do to show people I care about them. And I don’t always know. I don’t know how to be a good husband, necessarily. She pointed that fact out to me every day before we finally divorced.”
Faith understood his side of things. She didn’t know what to do either. What was so interesting to her, though, was that flowers and champagne would be nice, but she didn’t have to have those as a token of a man’s affection. Jake had a wonderful ability to see the best in things, and she enjoyed just being with him. It didn’t matter what they were doing.
“I don’t think you should take her criticisms personally,” she said, trying to find the right words. “I think it was more a difference in perspectives. I think you know how to connect with people. You just have to find the right person to be with. And when you do, you’ll find that you don’t have to work so hard.”
He sat quietly, clearly considering what she’d just said. He was contemplating something.
She grabbed on to the arms of the rocker for something to do with her hands in the silence. “Ow!” Faith yelped, pulling her finger to her lips to squelch a sharp pain. Something had just jabbed her finger. As she pulled her hand back to look at it, she realized she’d gotten a pretty big splinter. It must have come off the handle of the rocking chair. When her focus broadened, she realized that Jake had stood up and was now kneeling in front of her, concern on his face.
“I think I got a splinter,” she said, holding out her finger for him to view. He took her hand gently to get a better look, and then blew on the reddened area softly. It sent a shiver up her arm. She swallowed.
“We need to get that out so it won’t get infected.”
“Mom brought a first aid kit,” she remembered out loud. “There may be something in there we can use.”
“You need to find a needle.” He still had her hand in his, and she wished she didn’t have to get up because he’d have to let go.
“I know exactly where I can find one.” She stood up, and he walked with her inside. With her good hand, she dug around in the front pocket of Nan’s handbag. “She always keeps a little sewing kit in here. I know, because I had a button come off once, and she got her little plastic kit out and sewed it back on for me there and then. She told me she never leaves home without it.”
A quiet laugh bubbled up in Jake’s chest. “She’s funny, your Nan.” He laughed again. “Every day, she totes around a sewing kit in her bag just in case she needs it, but you’ve only ever used it once in your life.”
Faith felt the edge of the kit under her fingers and pulled it out, his comment making her giggle too. “It is funny, isn’t it? And I could’ve gone without that button that day, but she’d sewn it on.” She opened the case and pulled a needle from a tiny paper envelope inside. She held it out and, with a grin, Jake took it.
He sat down on the sofa near the lamp, and turned her hand over on his thigh under the light, moving her finger back and forth to examine it first. Then, he lowered the needle toward her. “This might poke a little,” he said.
