Faith knew Casey was hoping for a grand response, something that would be life-changing, but the truth was, life didn’t work like that. It didn’t end in a grand finale or some firework-filled moment. It was, like Nan had said, a million tiny moments that when added up made a pretty great life. Faith was only learning that slowly; it was starting to sink in.
“Casey,” she said, walking around the table and standing in front of her sister. “Be honest with yourself. What do you want?”
“What do you mean? You know what I want.”
“Well, clearly, you don’t or you’d go and get it. You always have before.” Faith walked back in to Casey’s room, and got her cell phone. When she returned, she set it down in front of her sister.
“Stop being so worried about what he will think. Stop guessing at his actions because you’re too proud to ask him what he feels. If you love him, Casey, tell him. Tell him what you’re feeling or he’ll never know! Start with just a sentence. It doesn’t have to be long. But tell him something. Take a chance!”
Casey sat, her hands in her lap, her eyes on her phone.
“We’re here for you, Casey,” Nan said. “Just try. It can’t hurt a thing.”
“I can’t do it.”
“Yes, you can!” Faith pressed. “He’s your husband. You love him, right? You can tell him anything.”
“It’s different now.”
“Why? He’s the same person he always was.”
Faith could see Casey’s face change as the anxiety of the task began to take hold. She was thinking about it. Without warning, she grabbed the phone, opened up the screen and began typing. When she was finished, she held it in her hands for a few long seconds. Then, she turned the phone around. It said simply, “I love you.” With a smile twitching at her lips, Casey hit send and set it down on the table, her hands shaking just slightly.
Faith clasped her hands together in front of her mouth and tried to hide her smile. Casey had done it. She’d never felt more proud of her sister than she did in that moment, because Casey had let her guard down. Faith threw her arms around her and squeezed her tight.
The three of them waited, their eyes on the phone. Every time the screen went dark, Casey tapped it to keep it open. Then hope fizzled up her spine when Faith saw those three little dots on the screen. Scott had opened the message! He was checking it! The anticipation was nearly overwhelming for her; she couldn’t imagine what Casey must be feeling. Maybe it would all be okay. Casey and Scott were so good together, and now, they could get back together where they belong. Isabella could have her daddy back. Faith hoped that would be the case.
The dots went away and they waited for a message. Faith’s knee was bouncing up and down. The time it was taking was making her crazy with anticipation. They sat in silence—all of them—watching that phone, but after the seconds turned to minutes and then the minutes began ticking by, Faith could feel a worry settling in her chest. The screen turned black, and Casey didn’t reopen it this time. Scott hadn’t texted back. There was nothing.
“Maybe he’s not somewhere where he can text you,” Faith said cautiously. “Maybe his phone died.”
“Or maybe he doesn’t want to know that I love him because he wants a divorce.”
Faith shook her head, trying to protest that thought, but she had to wonder if it was too little, too late. Was Scott tired of trying? Before she could wonder any further, Casey had her face in her hands. She was crying.
“This is so hard,” she sobbed. “Isabella is killing me. She was up for an hour last night—she misses Scott so much. She cries at night for her daddy, and, honestly, I cry for him too. I don’t know how to fix this.” She turned to Nan. “Nan. You know everything. What do I do?”
Nan had remained very quiet the whole time. She ran her fingers through the side of her short, white hair and then put her hand on her cheek in bewilderment. Finally, after Casey’s wild sobs had quieted, Nan looked as though she had an answer. She said, “Casey, he knows you love him. But what he doesn’t know is whetheryouunderstand why he’s left. Give him a reason to come back.”
As if Nan’s suggestion had finally made it all clear, Casey opened up the screen and texted, “I miss you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there enough. I want to make it work. Call me,” and hit send. Then, she went into the bathroom, swiped a box of tissues, and returned, tugging a few free from the box to blew her nose.
“Now,” Nan said, her voice lighter, “Get yourselves together. Jake will be here to pick up Faith soon. And later, he’s going to come and get us after he drops off the supplies for that boat he’s building. He and his friend have already finished one, and I told him I’d like to take a ride, since I didn’t get to go sailing. He promises to go slowly.”
Faith had been thinking about seeing Jake all day. It was ridiculous to even be thinking about him. He’d made it quite clear that he wasn’t planning on taking things any further. Pleasant conversation and dinners was all she could hope for. It was fine, really. She’d always been fine on her own. Maybe she’d even be able to help Casey with learning how to live that way. Scott hadn’t called. Casey had carried her phone around all morning. She kept expecting to see the phone light up with Scott’s name. After hours passed, though, she was losing hope.
Faith had decided to wait for Jake’s arrival on the beach. She walked down to the water, leaving her sandals up on the dune. The surf was calm today. It rolled gently toward the shore and left foam on the sand as the tide slid back out to sea. She sank her toes into the soft, wet sand, watching the little bubbles of water as they dipped below the surface around her feet.
The surf could get rough, and it was tough to swim through. Every time she had to face those waves as a kid, though, she got back up, giggling, and squealing, running from them and then to them. Swimming in the ocean was difficult for even an experienced swimmer, yet, as a child, the exertion it took didn’t bother her. And, like Casey had always told her, once they got past where the waves break, it was easy. Just like when they were girls, it seemed again to Faith that they were right where the waves were breaking. They couldn’t see the other side yet, but they were fighting, pushing, getting knocked down and back up. The difference was that as adults, their will seemed to have lessened. Why was that? Why couldn’t they fight harder?
As Faith watched the rolling waves, she noticed those spots where they broke a little softer. That was why they struggling now to fight—there wasn’t a break, nothing to allow them to slip past. In their relationships, they were giving it everything they had and nothing was changing. Faith said a silent prayer that they’d all get a break. Nan needed her family to be happy, Casey needed Scott, Isabella needed her daddy. Even their mom, who loved having her family around, needed everyone around her—Nan wouldn’t be there to keep her company forever.
And what did Faith need? What did she really need? At the back of her mind, she knew what shewanted.She wanted a family. She wanted a loving husband who she could talk to, who kept her company, who listened to her. She wanted to hear little feet coming down the hallway and to hear the sound of their voices as they called her Mommy… She wanted to be able to come back to this beach and see it. She’d thought before how life wasn’t this perfect story, where happy endings were always possible. She had to look on the bright side: She was healthy and happy. She’d be okay.
“Hey,” she heard from behind her, and she turned around.
“Hi.”
Jake was all spruced up, his hair just perfectly tousled, his face clean-shaven. The smell of his aftershave wafted in her direction, knotting her stomach. He looked positively gorgeous.
