If she went back to the party, Faith might cry, so she sat on that step, watching the waves. Casey had hurt her. And, truth be told, she’d probably hurt Casey too. Faith was still angry, but she felt also felt awful. This was the wrong place to bring up her issues with Casey—she hadn’t meant to; they’d just bubbled up. She’d taken her built up feelings too far today, but there was never a good time. One doesn’t just set out and say, “Today is a good day to confront my sister.” It didn’t work that way. She’d gotten out some of what she’d wanted to say today, but their argument was far from over. Casey still hadn’t said she was sorry or even admitted to doing anything wrong, so this little outburst had done nothing but get Faith worked up.
She’d sat there on the step until the outward signs of sadness had been erased, but now she just felt empty. Casey was right. What did she know about relationships? What did she know about the life that Casey had with Scott? She’d not even been a part of it. She’d stayed away nearly Isabella’s whole life. She had no idea about what the Robins family was like.
“Hey,” she heard through the wind behind her.
Faith twisted around to find Jake at the top of the steps that led to the beach. Seeing Jake only made her feel worse because she wanted his comfort, but she knew she probably wouldn’t get it. He stepped down, one by one, until he was next to her. Then, he lowered himself down beside her. They were unusually close, given the narrow staircase, so he turned a little to give her more room.
“You okay?” he asked. “You’ve been down here for a long time.”
She nodded, even though she was lying. She wasn’t okay at all.
He looked at her as if he saw through it, but he didn’t say anything. He leaned back, resting his arm on the step above, and the proximity made it seem like he had his arm around her. She took in a deep breath. She wanted to have his arms around her for real, to rest her head on his shoulder. But she straightened her back to try and look like she had it all together. She was used to getting herself together without the help of anyone else, and she didn’t want him to pity her?
“Wanna talk about it?” he asked, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. He was trying to seem casual, she could tell, but he knew something. Had Casey told him what had happened? Her chest felt cold at the idea. Casey wouldn’t dare…
“I’m fine. I was just enjoying the view,” she said. “You should be up there,” she tipped her head back to point at the party, “instead of being down here with me.”
“You’re a part of my party too,” he said, finally turning to look at her. “I couldn’t even see you down here! I had no idea where you’d gone until I ran into Casey. I figured you’d come back up and gotten lost in the crowd.”
Now she really wondered what Casey might have said. Had Casey put herself in Jake’s path on purpose? Faith turned to face him. “Well, thank you,” she smiled. “Thank you for checking on me. Sometimes, I like to be away from the crowd, you know?”
He smiled a crooked grin and shifted, their faces too close. “Me too,” he said.
“I don’t believe that for one minute,” she said. “As much as you like to talk to people.”
“It’s true! I do enjoy meeting new people, getting to know people, but I like my quiet time too. It’s hard work doing all that talking. I can’t go on like that forever.” He chuckled. His face was the same as it was the other night, his eyes looked as though he were drinking her up, taking in every movement she made, every thought she had. She wanted time to stop when he did it because there was nothing she’d ever experienced that was as good as that.
“Thank you,” she said sincerely. “Thank you for taking time to come see me down here. You didn’t have to.”
His face was serious, but the corners of his mouth were turned up into a grin, that fondness pouring through his features. He was so good-looking yet he never acted as if he knew it. Their eyes were locked on one another’s, as if they were both thinking the same thing. They were completely alone. No one could see them down here. He was being so gentle and nice. He’d come to check on her, bothered to sit with her when there were so many other people who were surely lining up for his time.
It would be so easy to lean forward and kiss him. She’d never been put in a situation like this before, but right now, she felt as if she would know exactly what to do. This was her moment.Themoment to take charge and let him know what she wanted. She wanted him—just like this with no pretentiousness or extravagance. He was giving her all the signals she needed; she just had to act on them.
She placed her hand on his chest, over his heart, and he looked down at it.
“Faith…” His words trailed off.
“When I’m teaching and I send one of my five-year-olds on an errand down the hallway, I always ask if they walked back or if they ran. Sometimes they say they’ve walked, but I know better. Do you know how I can tell that they aren’t telling the truth?”
He shook his head.
“I put my hand on their heart. If I can feel it beating wildly, then I know.”
He looked down again at her hand, defeat sliding across his face. His heart was beating like crazy, and she knew she’d caught him. For some reason, he’d been trying to play down his feelings for her. She didn’t know why, but the idea that he was feeling the same way that she was, made her own heart soar.
The moments where he’d laughed at something she’d said the other night, and the way his head turned when he was listening to her, the list of things they had in common—it all went through her mind as she leaned forward. Her heart was beating so fast, she worried it was visible from the outside. Faith put her other hand on the step to steady herself, as she moved closer. She was telling him silently that it was okay, that she welcomed anything that may transpire between them. Then, she closed her eyes and pressed her lips to his. The exhilaration of it caused her to lean against him to keep her body steady. His lips were soft and strong at the same time, just like they had been at Bodie Island. Never had she initiated a kiss with anyone. She finally felt in control of her feelings, and it felt wonderful. She knew this was the feeling she wanted to have for the rest of her life with someone. With him?
Then, it all stopped.
Gently, his hands on her shoulders, he pushed her away. For the first time since she’d met him, he looked vulnerable. It was only a second and then it was gone. He stood up. She felt a little frantic, like she wanted to stop him and find out why he’d pushed her away when it was clear that he felt something for her. Whatever the issue was, they could figure it out together.
“I’m sorry,” he said. He cleared his throat and took in a slightly jagged breath. “I’m…” He stared blankly out at the ocean as if collecting himself. “I’m sorry.”
She sat silently.
“What I’ve learned in life is that I’m at my happiest when I can be friends with someone—I know how to do that. But when it comes to relationships—day in and day out—I’m terrible at them. I’ve been down that road before,” he said again. “Showing you around is a lot of fun, but when it comes down to real life—who I am and who you are—things will get harder. It’s easy to forget when I’m with you, but I can’t stop being me and doing what I do.
“What do you mean by that?”
