There are a thousand things I want to scream at him, but what would be the point?
Mostly, I want to know why the shame of my bio mom is such a deal breaker. I don’t even have the same last name. Unless he figures it’ll get out because of my pseudo brother’s spite, which is very likely. But why is that so deadly to our relationship? Jamie’s not set to inherit a throne, and he’s never said he plans to go into politics or public life. I can’t see why it matters so much.
Maybe his brother overdosed? And he sees all drug dealers as the scum who are responsible? It’s not a completely crazy sentiment. My bio mom did things to trick people into more powerful addictions. And the type of narcotics they laced the drugs with meant she’s responsible for several people dying from accidental overdoses.
Knowing she deceived kids as young as thirteen into taking things that killed them is despicable. And yeah, a part of me despises her for it. But she went to jail for that.
There’s no way I’m going to walk around with my head hanging in shame. My plan has always been to rise above the early part of my life, andno oneis going to make me feel bad for trying to move on.
By the time War comes downstairs, I’m standing at the front door with my coat on and my bag in hand.
When he opens the door and walks out, I follow him.
No look back at Jamie.
No final goodbye.
33
JAMIE
My head is muddled with black thoughts and pent-up fury. Whatever I needed from that final fight—smashing glass, shouting, her weeping with remorse for not turning the bastard in—I didn’t get and never will.
Not her problem, those were her words.
As I stew in rage, the chaos in my head drills down to one thing. I’m about to make it the problem of every person in her fucking family.
Lying on the couch, I grind my teeth when my phone rings. My hand snatches the device. It’s Ash rather than Sawyer. I glare at the phone. After several rings, the call aborts. A moment later, it begins ringing again.
For fuck’s sake.
I answer. “Yeah?”
“What is wrong with you?” Ash says in a grim voice.
Swallowing bile, I stare at the ceiling.
“You let her get all amped up about spending the holiday break with you and then dump her? Help me understand that.”
“What’s between Sawyer Allendale and me has nothing to do with you. Stay in your lane.”
There’s a prolonged beat of silence. “Yeah, well, she’s my friend now, too, Jamie. And I’m pissed you set her up to take a fall like this. I’m halfway to Boston, and I’m guessing you don’t want me to go back and get her? You expect me to leave her alone in the empty dorm all week?” Ash rarely takes a tone with me. Or anyone. Laid back and cheerful is her normal, so this is like her slamming a hammer on my thumb.
“Do whatever you want,” I say, my terse tone matching her angry one.
“But let’s be clear,” Ash says. “If she comes home with me, you won’t come, right?”
“Right. I don’t want to see her.”
“Tell me what happened.”
“Ask her.”
“For fuck’s sake, Jamie.” Ash’s voice is impatient and frustrated, which only makes my own emotions burn hotter. “She didn’t want to talk about it. Just said it’s over.”
“Right, there you have it.” The whiskey is showing its hold because my words are slightly slurred.
“Tell me.”
