“Well, it worked out, then. I reckon you might be closer to him than I am to my father. We disagree on some fundamental things, and it’s caused me to pull away. We may put it right one day but haven’t so far.”
“I hope you can. Family’s important.”
“It is, yeah. So, Brad Allendale? Brother or stepbrother?”
“Yeah, step. Well, adopted brother, but it doesn’t feel like it.”
“He resents it, does he? That’s his rationale for what he does?”
“I guess. The family name is a big deal. Their money and family history are part of their identities. That’s one of the reasons getting into the Briar Club is so important. My Allendale grandmother was a Briar Club member like my mom. If I get in, that’ll go a long way to proving I’m like my mom Celine was. Someone with great potential who’s going to be an asset to the family.”
Jamie’s hand slides over the side of my face. “Your mom’s gone?”
“Yes. Cancer. Such an awful waste. She was a member of the US House of Representatives, and they put her on a really important committee during her second term. She was literally changing the world.” Blowing out a breath, I blink my eyes several times to banish threatening tears. “The Allendale money and influence might’ve helped her get elected, but once she got there, every bit of respect was earned.” Rubbing my eyes, I shake my head. “It’s important that I live up to my potential and get her bracelet back.”
My eyes narrow. “Wanna hear the fucked up thing my so-called brother did? Each member of the Briar Club gets a custom bracelet. When a member dies, they have the option of returning the bracelet to the club, so it can be passed on to a new member. My mom’s had been passed down from one of the founders. It’ssovintage and cool. I used to put it on my upper arm, like Cleopatra, and prance around. Mom wanted me to have it when I became a member. She was going to have a new one made for herself when I got in and give me hers. When she died, Brad took the bracelet and returned it to the club, instead of letting me keep it, which I totally could have. I would’ve brought it with me into the club. But no. So now, it’s back in circulation and there’s no guarantee I’ll be the one to get my mom’s. If I get in, I hope they’ll let me have it. They’re pretty big on legacy and tradition, so there’s a good chance. Hope so.”
Jamie nods with a serious expression. “It’s important to have faith. And a plan. You’re smart to have both.”
“Am I?” I draw in a breath and shrug. “Just doing my absolute best every step of the way. Can’t afford a misstep. But there’s not exactly a plan.”
“Sure, there is. And we executed it perfectly last night.” He winks then leans over and kisses me. “Let’s get up. I need caffeine.”
“Same,” I say with a small smile.
I should’ve told Jamie the whole truth, including about it being my bio mom, not Celine, who had live-in boyfriends. But explaining that I’m adopted and why I need to prove myself as worthy of the Allendale name is huge for me. If things keep going the way they are, I think I’ll be able to tell him my whole life story eventually. Old shame is just hard to set aside.
When Brad told his prep school friends about my “jailbird” mom, “the Tennessee white trash,” they either pitied me or became condescending assholes. One even blackmailed me into writing his final papers to keep my secret, so the popular girls at school wouldn’t find out. That would’ve ruined me for sure. One day, I’m going to cross paths with that guy again. And when I do, I’m going to figure out a way to make him regret what he did.
A stab of concern erupts in my chest. A thirst for revenge is a nasty urge that hits me way too often. I worry I inherited it from my bio mom. She could be ruthless.
This morning though, I remind myself I’m my own person and I’ve gotten farther in life than my bio mom ever did. Even if I do have poison in my genes, I also have Celine’s. She was a distant cousin to my biological mom, which is how she learned about my motherless plight in the first place.
Celine rose above her middle class roots and any blood ties she had to the Tennessee branch of the family. As long as I’m careful, I can, too.
28
SAWYER
The week before Thanksgiving is busy and kind of absurd. Jamie is so swamped I only meet up with him once for sex, at two o’clock on a Wednesday afternoon. Meanwhile, Ash and I are practically conjoined twins when not in class. We get coffee, study in the library, work out, eat meals and attend parties together. It’s the most fun I’ve had on campus by far. She makes me laugh so much I forget to panic about the Briar Club vote and the upcoming holiday with the Allendale family.
On Friday morning, Ash and I are each lying in our beds, sipping hot chocolate and trying to study when my phone rings from an unknown number.
“Who?” Ash asks. I’ve come to realize she doesn’t actually care who it is, nor is she truly interested in what they want. It’s just her way of staying connected in the friendship.
“Unknown caller.” I cock my head with mock curiosity. “Secret Admirer? Nigerian Prince?”
Doing a swiping motion with her index finger, she says, “Voicemail.” Her attention goes back to her screen.
The number’s local, so less likely to be a random scammer.
“What if I’ve inherited two million dollars, and I’m about to lose it because they don’t have my banking information? Can’t risk that.” I swipe to answer. “Hello?”
“Sawyer?” It’s a slightly squeaky female voice that sounds vaguely familiar.
“Yes, this is Sawyer.”
“Hi, it’s Billie Goggins, Briar Club VP.”
