“Relax,” Jamie says in a calming tone, a distant expression developing on his features. “I wouldn’t betray your trust, Sauce. Not ever.”
The tension eases. “Anyway, it wasn’t like I was really injured. He did it to prove he could. That he could get away with hurting me.”
“Is that what went through your head last night during?—?”
“Gross. No,” I say emphatically. “The way you do things to me… it’s exciting. I know your intention is to turn me on. I can tell, and I like that.” I run my hand over his skin. “I might not enjoy it as much if I wasn’t so attracted to you. It’s hard to separate the two things. I like getting to share scary, secret sex with the person everyone else wants.” A small smirk emerges. “Fuck Clare Duffy, that little traitor.”
A hint of a smile finally appears on Jamie’s face. “All right.”
I chuckle softly. “It’s something Ash says.”
“Ah. Our Ashling and her colorful expressions.” Jamie’s hand smooths my hair back. “I’m glad last night was good for you. If it’s ever not, you have to tell me. This kind of relationship relies on communication to keep it from becoming abuse.”
I nod. “That’s not a problem—the communication part, I mean. I can talk to you.”
“I hope so because last night you didn’t say much.”
“Well.” I smirk. “Last night, I was pretending you’d have to kill me to break me.”
“Jayzus. Don’t even joke.” He kisses me, tangling his fingers in my hair. “If that happened, it would be the end of us both. That much I can promise.”
“Are you saying that if I died, it would kill you?”
“I’m saying if I was ever so out of control that I accidentally killed you during a scene, that yes, I would need to be put down like a rabid dog. And I would make sure it happened, one way or the other.”
My brows rise at the seriousness in his tone. “Sounds like—have you actually thought about it?”
“I have, yeah. When I started having certain fantasies, I wasn’t sure what that said about me. I decided if I started to get off on hurting innocent girls, ones who hadn’t consented, or if I went too far, I would deal with myself accordingly. Then, over time, I realized these games are never one-sided for me. I like for the girl to want to play. I want her to want more of the same.”
“The way I do?”
“Exactly that.”
That causes me to smile. “So, we’re a good match.”
“More than good. In bed, I’d say we’re a perfect match.”
The smile that blossoms is one I can’t suppress. “Does that mean I get to stay for breakfast? I’ll cook.”
“No way are you cooking. I’ll make you breakfast and serve it to you in bed.” He gives me a kiss before rising.
Stretching contentedly, I say, “I thought I was the slave?”
“You are.” Jamie pulls on a pair of jeans. “But a master always has to feed and water his little pet so she stays strong enough to be useful.” With a wink, he’s out the door.
I continue to smile. I’ve never had breakfast in bed in my life. And while I know that having Jamie in bed is better than having breakfast here, I’m about to have both.
I may not have been born rich, but it feels like I’m living my best life now.
23
JAMIE
On the night of the Briar Club event, Ashling lets me into the lobby of Central Dorm when I arrive to collect Sawyer.
Ash wears no makeup and is dressed in thick, oversized sweats. She looks about fifteen.
“How is it with you, Ashling?”
