“Listen, I was fully focused during operations. My personal mission of destroying Jude’s attacker never interfered with my work for the Crue.” Blowing out a breath, I feel things slipping away, and the idea rips me open.
The Crue training and operations were so intense that a part of me feels as much a member of C Crue as a citizen of Ireland. Also, I’ve never not paid a debt before. The thought of walking away… of losing the family I’ve bonded with in the States. Not to mention losing Sawyer. If I’m gone, she’s alone in the world, and I’ve got no way to protect her. That cannot happen.
Tapping my thumb against the table, I lean forward. “Given the choice between leaving or staying, there’s no contest. Here.”
“Is that right.” His mouth forms a hard line. “You ready to be all in? Even if it means living where we tell you to live, indefinitely?”
My body’s so full of adrenaline the new spike doesn’t even register. “I am, yeah.”
C’s hard stare bores into me. “Step out of line even once, and I will put you in the fucking ground myself, blood or not.”
“Understood.”
“All right. Pour yourself a drink and knock it back. We’re celebrating.”
It doesn’t exactly feel like a celebration, but I’ll have the drink as ordered.
C rises and pours himself another drink, too. Standing next to the bar, he cocks his head, assessing me. “Refusing to name War as an accomplice on the first murder was a gamble. Might have gotten you killed.”
Setting the glass down, I shrug. “There are worse things than dying.”
“Truer words were never spoken.”
* * *
SAWYER
The motel room’seerie quiet unsettles me. I pace to fill the silence, if only with the sound of my breath and my feet shuffling against the cheap carpet. I’d trade almost anything to be back in the playroom with Ash and the rambunctious kids and for Jamie to be there with us.
Every time Jamie enters my head, I tense. He’s been so protective of me the past week, making sure I’m never alone and soothing my worries about Connecticut, that I’ve grown used to always being near him or knowing exactly when I will be again.
The sudden detachment feels grim, especially at night, which is when I normally feel the closest to him. In bed, there’s the heart-pounding intimacy of sex when we’re literally fused into one body. But there’s also the conversations we have in low voices before we fall asleep. Sometimes, he’s more talkative than I am. When he describes Ireland in his stories, I can practically feel the misty rain on my skin. I’ve never longed for a place I’ve never been before, but I’m desperate to experience Ireland with Jamie. To walk over ancient rocks at the edge of the world as he calls it.
I stop, sighing, and hug my arms around my chest.
Please be okay.
Drawing in a shaky breath, I bite down on my lower lip and blink my eyes, which keep threatening to tear up. I won’t let myself cry. That would be ridiculous when I’m not even sure anything is wrong.
But the nagging fear returns like swarming bees from a hive I’ve accidentally overturned. Jamie wouldn’t have had War move me to a secret location unless he wasn’t able to do it himself. Which raises so many horrible questions.
Every few minutes, I pick up my phone, tempted to turn it on so I can text him. If he didn’t answer, I could text Ash that I’m worried about him and for her to come and get me so we can start the process of tracking him down. Ash could ask her brother where Jamie is and if he’s all right. Scott should easily be able to find out Jamie’s status.
Thinking about Scott, I have mixed feelings. In person, I like him so much. I could see Jamie and I visiting Scott and Laurel’s house as often as we’re invited over. But I’m frustrated Scott isn’t more careful about Jamie’s safety. Why would he send him to see one of his partners who would then send Jamie out to work when we’re in town for a party? If it’s an entire organization, they must have other people who could work tonight.
The television drones on with a cooking show. I’m not paying attention, but I’ve got it on so I can check the time, which feels as though it’s moving at a glacial pace. Forty minutes feels more like forty years.
War said an hour. I’m not giving him a minute more.
The speed of my pacing increases until the exertion coupled with my anxiety makes my heart pound.
Around the edges of the patterned pull curtain, light flashes.A new car’s arrived.Pulling the corner of the curtain back, I peek out. My heart leaps when I spot Ash’s Camaro pulling into a spot right in front of the room.
I rush over to the door, my fingers fumbling to flip the security bar back and yank it open.
Jamie emerges from the car, looking none the worse for wear, thank God.
When he reaches the doorway, grudging relief explodes from inside me. “Jesus Christ.” My tone is harsh, and my brows pinch together as I glare at him. “You scared me to death. Why would you have War bring me here?”
