Her hand catches mine and pulls. Staring straight ahead, I lower myself onto the settee next to her. I’m surprised it doesn’t crack under the weight. It’s like doll furniture.
“Me, too.” There are unshed tears in her eyes. Her fingers thread through mine and squeeze my hand through the Ace wrap. “It’s hard.”
“The thought of going our separate ways… of never seeing you again.” I shake my head. “Not sure I can do it.”
“Me, either.”
I turn my head.
She’s chewing on her lip as tears drip from her jaw. Licking her lips, she rubs the heel of her hand over her face. “I’m shell-shocked and worn out. It’s hard to think straight.”
“One day soon, this place will be in the past for me, too. I won’t need to fight anymore. When that happens, when the dust settles, you and I could try again.” I’m looking for anything.
Both her arms slide around my right arm, and the physical connection with her feels better than breathing.
Arya studies my face. “Do you love me?”
“Yes. Without a doubt.”
She sniffles, and for a minute, I listen to the sounds of her breath as she cries. Finally, she says in a soft voice, “Yeah. Same.”
I exhale, feeling some of the tightness in my chest ease. If she’s in love with me, we’re not done.
Drawing in a shuddering breath, her grip tightens on my arm. “This—us—worries me. I think it could go really badly.”
“And that’s the optimistic view.”
She chokes out a small laugh. After a swallow, her voice, still clouded with raspiness, says, “You joke, but… Listen, I want to be away from here. You seem determined to work on the Casanova case until the end. That could be months or even years. And I don’t want Granthorpe’s poison to be part of our lives.At all.”
My body tenses again. I’ve committed myself. I want to believe I’m getting close, and that it’ll only be a week or two more. But if we’re following false leads, the investigation could go on for much longer. The way many serial killer hunts have.
If I set an end date for my involvement and haven’t found him, it’ll mean leaving Shane, Declan, and Camrynn behind to do it on their own. I promised to help. And Reynolds herself may be a target. The thought of deserting them doesn’t sit right.
Practically speaking though, if I enter the draft, I need to go full force into training for the combine. And that will happen in a facility that’s nowhere near GU. Which means Arya could come with me.
It comes down to choosing the life I want more. Writing crime fiction is absolutely part of the plan for me. But deep down, I know if I let Arya go and she ends up with someone else, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.
My pulse kicks up a notch as the struggle grips me. Closing my eyes, I draw in a long breath and exhale.
“I plan to write dark stories.” I open my eyes but stare straight ahead, afraid of what I’ll see in her eyes. “You’ll never need to read them. Or even hear about them while I’m writing. But that’s coming down the road for me.”
“Write whatever you want, Erik. Just, when you tell me about your books, skip the bad parts.” Her finger strokes my arm. “Cliffs Notes only for me.”
“That’ll work.” I suck on my lower lip and nod, able to breathe again.
Arya matters more to me than finding Casanova. Which is something I wouldn’t have believed even a couple of weeks ago.
“So, that’s our plan then,” I hear myself say. “You compete at nationals. I declare for the NFL draft. And, whether Casanova has been caught or not, we leave GU together. Wherever I go to train for the NFL combine, you come with me. And to the next place after that.”
Her hand slides down to lace her fingers through mine. The pressure on my knuckles causes pain. Which bothers me not at all. I like when she touches me. Especially to seal this plan.
“Hey… I know you’re tired,” she says.
I wait, holding off on admitting that until I hear what else she wants to say.
“But if you lie down with me and tell me a story in that language neither of us really understands, maybe I could work up the nerve to fall sleep. I don’t think it’ll take long.”
There have been a lot of firsts with this girl, including the fact that I enjoy having her sleep next to me all night. And that I’ll gladly sacrifice my sleep to help her get some.
