My dad finally came to a pageant, took one look at me, and started raging. He used words I’d never heard. Pimping, whore, pedophile bait. Everyone began whispering and staring.
It was my turn to take the stage for talent, and I did, only to freeze up as I watched him storm out in disgust. Red blotches of angry, embarrassed color stained Mom’s cheeks. She nodded sharply for me to continue. The opening bars ofDefying Gravitystarted three times before I fled the stage.
That was my last pageant, and the last time I saw my dad in person.
As the memories consume me, my heart thumps uncomfortably, and my hands grow shaky.
Mom claimed by not competing again, I was letting him “win.” But for me, being dressed and made up for another pageant wouldn’t have felt like a triumph. I’d never loved it, and now, under my dad’s ferocious criticism, it was tainted with shame.
Mom relented and let me quit. But we would never spend as much time together again. I went to science camp, and she went on to create lots of other little beauty queens as a consultant. That was better for both of us. Mostly.
A fleeting thought of taking a picture of myself to send to Mom and Ethan passes through my mind. My mom still loves to see me dressed up, and he’d enjoy it, too. Senior year of high school, they were disappointed I didn’t go to prom. The lingering effects of being frozen out socially. Boys were wary of me. And girls were icy, lest the boys think they were sympathetic. I reacted to their scorn with some of my own, sheering off my hair and dressing as an outcast. Shane asked why I’m still a virgin. How could I be anything else?
My tongue traces my lips and recalls our kiss. I dressed for him tonight. I kissed him because it’s what he wanted. In high school, I’d have given anything for a kiss like that with him. His senior year, he wouldn’t give me as much as a hello.
Things between us are moving fast now. A part of me loves feeling irresistible and can’t get enough of it. Another part knows this could end badly. And that he shouldn’t get every piece of me now just because he wants it.
Shane appears in the archway, a couple of drinks in his hands. He nods for me to join him. “Come on, baby doll, let me show you off.”
Baby doll. Let me show you off.
More shades of my pageant days, and of Shane’s sudden tendency to treat me like he owns me. The straps of my shoes cut into my feet, which remain frozen to the floor.
You’ll come to dinner in Back Bay.
You’ll come to the platinum party with me.
Obey, or I’ll spank you.
Your virginity’s mine to take.
Dressed. Waxed.Kissed.
I’m like a pretty little puppet he controls with the pluck of a string. And his magnetism is so potent it’s often irresistible.
Apparently noting my frown, his expression changes, shuttering away the warmth as his eyes narrow. He strides closer, watching my face the entire time.
“What’s going on?”
“A doll’s life…doesn’t suit me. I shouldn’t have come.” I try to make my voice light, but I can’t. The undercurrent is angry because I’m frustrated.
His brow arches. “Again I say, what’s going on, Avery?”
“Things you don’t need to know. I can have a locked room, too, right?”
Moss green eyes narrow farther, and his jaw ticks dangerously. Leaning down, he whispers in my ear, “Tell me.”
My skin prickles, a wave of unease coursing through me. Shane’s not just tough on the outside; emotionally, he’s brutally tough, too. Am I prepared to fight this fight?
“We’ve hurt each other a lot in the past.” I blow out a slow breath, steeling myself. “Let’s not risk doing it again.”
“You think kissing me is risky?”
“Yes.”Because it is.
His lips brush the angle of my jaw. “You could be right. But it’s too late to turn back now.”
I shudder as the sensation of his lips on my skin spirals through me. Sucking in a breath, I step back.
