My breath goes out of me in a rush because deep down that is exactly what I want from him. There is a part of me that believes only someone strong and brutal has a chance of surviving against Egorov and others like him. I sincerely don’t want Alexei to become a criminal, but I do want him to be stronger than the worst of them. He’s already proven it, but for some reason I need for him to keep on proving it. Maybe because I know he has a good heart, and I’m afraid that will make him hesitate when only death will do. Egorov will never hesitate.
“You are not wrong about this,” I admit. “I—sometimes I do not realize how I push you in a bad way until it is too late.”
“It’s understandable. You’re new to this.”
The kiss he gives me feels and tastes good, like cake laced with vodka. As I return it, my arms slide around his neck. Then I whisper in his ear, “If you are ruthless to me, you must be more so to my enemies. Otherwise it is not worth my suffering these punishments. Understand?”
“Yeah, I understand.”
“If Egorov tries to take me, what will you do?”
“I’ll do whatever it takes to stop him.”
“Words will not stop him,” I say. “Going away for a few days? This will not work for long if we go back to New York.”
“I know.” He studies my face, and his thumb rubs my lower lip. “You need to hear the words?”
I nod and bite the corner of my mouth.
“I’m your gladiator,kiska. I’ll defend you to the death against anyone. And in a fight to the death, you already know what I’ll do. I’ll kill Egorov.”
It’s a horrible promise to ask for, but I don’t apologize.
Instead I kiss Alexei again to reward him for making his deadly vow.
CHAPTER13
Natalia
The dining room’s wall of lake-facing windows leaves me breathless. I’d like to sit next to them, but Alexei guides me to the banquet table where our hosts from the night before are seated and already eating breakfast.
I carry a small bag with the borrowed shoes, but don’t return them yet because Alexei pulls out a chair for me next to his. He’s to my left, and there’s no one on my right.
Aiden Callahan is on Alexei’s other side, and they talk as if they never fought at all. Men are so odd. Aiden doesn’t greet or acknowledge me. I wonder if that’s why Alexei is his friend again. Has Aiden promised not to speak to me ever again? If he has, that’s all right with me. What’s happening between Alexei and me is too intense and intimate now. I can’t be involved with anyone else while I’m with him.
The women at the table smile at me and seem ready to be friends. I’m torn. I want more female friends in America, but preferably not ones who are married to criminals I would like us to avoid.
I eat all of my breakfast, watching the scene around the table curiously. When the group gets ready to leave, I grab the bag of shoes and stand. Alexei catches my arm until he sees what I have. He’s very possessive of me. Inexplicably, a part of me enjoys it.
As I walk, I feel the hidden soreness and think about how I felt lying face down on the bed, bound and silenced while a bull of a man forced his cock inside my tiny bottom hole. To be used in such a filthy merciless way… I didn’t expect Alexei to do that to me. The shame and arousal hit me again, causing heat to consume me. As my face flushes, I detour away from the group, wanting a minute alone to gather myself.
I glance over at Alexei where he’s casually talking to people. I’m sure no one suspects what he did to me less than an hour ago. The way he dragged my naked, bound body over the mattress so effortlessly, making my nipples tingle and my pussy clench.
When he was inside me, it was excruciating at first. There were moments when I didn’t know what would happen. Just being kept in that position while he used my body in that way was unimaginable, but in the end, a part of me enjoyed it. It’s shocking the way my body can react to his. With another man, I would have been destroyed by what happened. Instead, deep in my body, I feel the edge of arousal that’s always beating for him.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Alexei glance in my direction. There’s no guilt or worry in his expression. That causes a little bit of annoyance in me. Shouldn’t he have concerns for my well-being after doing something so rough and shocking to me?
It’s true he was very sweet with me after, but he didn’t say he was sorry or that it wouldn’t happen again.Again, I think, shuddering. My heart bangs in my chest, even as my nipples tighten inside my bra and my breath catches at the memory. When he decided to incapacitate me, he had me completely in his power within seconds. I couldn’t get away. I couldn’t even call for help. In a hotel full of people, he easily and secretly made me his sex slave.
My cheeks flame now, and I place the back of my hand against my face, trying to cool it off. I also turn my face farther away from where Alexei is chatting with Aiden Callahan and Laurelyn, Trick’s wife. I don’t want him to see my flush. That might make him come over, and suddenly I don’t want to face him.
“Hey, how are you?” a female voice says.
My heart hammers, and I lick my lips, which have gone dry. When I turn, I hope my face isn’t too red.
The woman standing next to me is Zoe, the dancer who was doing yoga earlier. I like her wildly curly hair and that she wears a sexy red and black dress to breakfast. Her bold confidence fascinates me.
“Thank you for loaning shoes to me,” I say, holding out the bag.
