It gives me a thrill to hear him say that. “Let’s not fight though,” I say, rubbing the pad of my thumb over his stubble. Sleep made everything better, especially sleeping with his massive body curled around me. I knew I was safe. It made all the difference after being so scared.
“Can you talk about last night with me? Or should I take you to Boston today to talk to a therapist?”
“Boston?” I scoff. “No. I’m fine.”
“Well, I’m not.”
My brows shoot up. “You’re not?”
“You went through something. And last night, you needed some very specific things from me. Is that where we are today?”
“No, I’m okay. I mean—I need you to be you. If someone were to try to take me away from you against my will, I need you to stop them.”
“That’s a fucking given. What else do you need?”
“That’s it. At least, I think that’s it. I’m going to borrow some money from Zoe to go shopping. When you’re not busy, could you take me? I’d feel safer. Just until things are settled.”
He exhales a sigh. “You don’t need to ask me to protect you. That’s every night and day. It’s always been that way, even when I was stalking you. What else?”
“Nothing else. I just want you nearby.”
“What about what happened last night?”
“Nothing happened, except what I said. I-I had to defend myself. And I did. I don’t know if Berto’s alive or not.”
His hand stretches out to cup my face. “How far did it go?”
“Not very.”
“Let me tell you some things, so you’ll know you can tell me anything. My mom was a prostitute, and she drank herself to death. When she went on a bender, there was no money. There was no food. But she loved me. I always knew that. She just had a sickness. And it meant I had to take care of myself and her as best I could. I loved her. Still do. At fifteen, I ran small jobs for one of Frank’s guys to get the money to bury her. I did all kinds of things to survive. So don’t ever think you can’t tell me something. I’ve seen it all. Nothing will change how I feel about you. I watched you a long time. I know who you are.”
I look away, tears stinging my eyes. “I was stupid enough to let Alberto trick me on so many levels. I let myself get manipulated into that dangerous position where I got hurt. He slapped me and knocked me down. And my own father didn’t help me. I had to save myself from being raped. And I almost couldn’t. I was so scared.” My voice leaves me for a minute and then I finish. “And I was afraid you might tell me it was my own fault for going with them, which it was.”
“There is no scenario that will ever exist where someone hurts you and I blame you for it. Not now. Not ever. Understand?”
I nod, then I lean forward and touch my forehead to his.
“For the next few days, I’m in control,” he says. “You don’t need to worry about anything because you’re not in charge of anything.”
“Okay,” I whisper, and then I kiss his lips.
A light knock on the door makes me draw back.
“What?” Sasha says to the door before I have the chance. “I’m in charge,” he reminds me.
I lean back against the headboard as the door opens, and Trick comes in with a plate of waffles covered in a mountain of blueberries. He bends forward, touches the top of my head like you would a toddler’s, and hands me the plate.
“There’s no fork,” I murmur.
Trick picks up a blueberry with his fingers and pops it in his mouth.
My brows rise.
To Sasha, he says, “I’ve been out. Let’s have a word.”
“Wait,” I say, reaching for his forearm.
Sasha rolls from the bed. “I’ll tell you the important things when I get back.”
