* * *
Anvil
My mind is completely blown. I can’t relate to people who are superficial or eternally sunny. My life has been dark. My little raven’s always been deep-thinking and observant. As sexy as sin and somehow drawn to the black hole of my soul.
I never expected her to be even decent in bed. Beyond the blowjobs, I’m guessing she’s totally sexually innocent. Being kinky as fuck myself, she wasn’t going to be a match for me in that way. It didn’t matter. I was into her in every other way, so I was way past caring about what the sex would be like. I figured we’d probably never get there anyway.
So how is she the best fuck I’ve ever had? How does she enjoy sex that’s too rough for working girls? And why when I finish fucking her do I immediately want to get back inside her?
I walk into the bathroom where she’s showering. Steam fogs the mirrors, and I lean against the jamb until the glass door opens. She jumps.
“Hey,” she says, reaching for a towel.
I pull it to me before she can get it. “Come here.”
She hesitates a second, then comes to me. I towel off her hair and then the rest of her. I let her fasten the towel around herself, but don’t move out of the doorway.
“What are we doing?” she asks.
“Nothing,” I say. I probably need a shower too. I’m sure I smell like sweat and sex.
I glance at the shower stall. She’s washed some of me away, but there are still traces inside her pussy. I like the idea of that. I run my knuckles over her flat belly.
She looks down at my hand and reads my thoughts. “I need to get my pills.”
I raise my gaze from her stomach to her face. “You take the pill?”
“Yes, to make my period better,” she says. Then she offers a small smirk when she adds, “A little late to ask me now. Do you always wait until after to ask that? How many little Sashas are out there at this point?”
“None that I know about. I don’t go bareback.”
“You do go bareback sometimes,” she says, nodding toward the wall separating the bathroom from the bed.
“That’s different.”
“It shouldn’t be. What if I wasn’t on the pill?”
“May the strongest swimmer win.”
She stares up at me with a shocked expression. “Are you serious?”
I look her over and nod. “Definitely.”
“What?” she asks, giving me a push. “It’s warm in here.”
I step aside, letting her pass.
“You didn’t answer me,” she says after a moment. “Why would you say that? And why would you be with me without wearing a condom?”
“If you have my baby, nothing will ever pry you away from me. I’ll be in your life for how long?” I pause, letting it dawn. “Right,” I add. “Forever.”
I don’t know what I expect, but her reaction still surprises me. She smiles, but she shakes her head. “This life, it’s not good for kids. You know that.”
I look her over. “I do know. And if you would’ve wanted to be a music teacher and marry an accountant or something, I would’ve left you to it. I wanted you to have a chance at a safer life.” I touch the scar on my stomach from the wound that almost killed me, reminding myself why I didn’t just start something with her a long time ago. “But you let Frank turn you into a mafia princess who was going to marry a made guy. If you’re not going to be free of this life, why the fuck should I let anyone else have you, instead of taking you for myself? Why shouldn’t the first baby you have be mine?”
She’s shocked, but I don’t backpedal. She brought this on when she said I could be myself.
“Was that the plan? To get me pregnant?”
