Evston took her hand and led her to the nearby couch. He sat and drew her down to him. She sat on his lap, feeling, if she was honest, a bit awkward.
“Brande,” he said, drawing her against his chest and wrapping his arms around her. “Relax against me.”
It took her several moments to do so, but then it did feel good. “It doesn’t feel entirely natural, does it?”
“Neither of us has had cause or opportunity to practice such relaxed intimacy. You, because you weren’t allowed lovers. And me because mine have mostly been owned pets.”
“Yes, and our intimacy mostly involves you treating me like a pet,” she said with a teasing note to her tone. “Being positioned for a whipping or for sexual use doesn’t inspire relaxed closeness.”
He stroked her back. “When I am treating you as a pet, it must be hard to remember that outside of that kind of play, I think you’re the most exceptional girl on the planet.”
“Do you?”
“Yes. I’ve always thought so.”
She kissed him on the cheek and then rose. “I’m not sure I’m the sort to cuddle. And I definitely don’t think you are either.”
He smiled. “Usually not.”
“Sometimes physical closeness seems absolutely necessary though.”
“Like when you’re exhausted from being punished and used?”
She nodded. “That time in the carriage glider when you put your fruit-covered fingers in my mouth. I needed that so much. No physical touch ever felt so important.”
“I hope I’ll always know when you need that. If I don’t initiate it when you do, just move close to me, so I’ll realize.”
“Or you could stop doing such intense things to me, so I won’t.”
His gaze sharpened. “Is that what you want? If it really is, say so.”
“I don’t actually know. Could you stop?”
“I could,” he said. “It’s been—” He shrugged. “To be able to involve you in this part of my life has been incredible and unexpected. But I wouldn’t want to see you pushed too far. I’ve always been prepared to stop if anything seemed to cause you too much distress. If you’d broken down at the party, I’d have gotten you away from there immediately.”
“Would you have? I knew that you must have plans to win the hunt.”
“I put you in the hunt so I wouldn’t be expected to share you during the party. And I had things arranged so that no stranger was ever going to take possession of you that night.”
“You could have said so.”
“I didn’t want you to give it away.”
“I was so nervous, but deep down I trusted you. I knew you wouldn’t let me be hurt.”
“Never.”
“Did you enjoy it though? The party? Hunting me?”
He studied her. “I didn’t care about watching the night’s activities that involved other people. I did enjoy having you there.”
“The hunt?” she pressed.
“I liked showing off your body and turning you into a fawn. And what’s not to enjoy about owning the most beautiful girl in the world and knowing she’s given you complete control of her? It’s incredible to have that for a night.”
“And if you couldn’t have that anymore with me, you’d miss it? So eventually you’d need it with someone else?”
“It could never be as good with anyone else again.” He ran a thumb over his lip thoughtfully. “I can’t say I’ll never crave that kind of play again, but I won’t pressure you into filling that role. And I won’t bring a pet into a home I share with you.”
