I got dressed and headed downstairs as my heart thumped in my chest with each step. What was I supposed to say? How were we supposed to act around each other now?
The morning rush was over. Glancing through the doorway to the back, I caught sight of Hawthorn pulling loaves from the oven. There was nothing about him that suggested today was different from any other.
I stood watching him. His dark hair was tucked under the hairnet as always, and the ever-present flour was coating his forearms. He moved with that quiet confidence I'd come to know so well. But today was different because I recalled my body pressed against his and his hands on me.
He looked up and our eyes met. A brief, unguarded emotion crossed his face and was wiped away a moment later.
"You're up." His voice was professional. "How are you feeling?"
"Better." I was unsure where to stand or what to do with my hands. "Sorry I overslept."
"You needed the rest." He turned back to the oven. "There's coffee if you want some."
That was it? After everything last night, we were back to talking about coffee?
"Thanks."
I poured myself a cup. The silence between us was uncomfortable. Everything weweren’tsaying was buried beneath the surface.
"I can help," I offered. "If you need me to."
"I've got it covered." He didn't look at me. "Take the day off. Make sure you're fully recovered."
He’d dismissed me and my wolf whined. I set down my mug.
"Right. Okay."
I should leave and go back to the lodge to give us both space. But my feet wouldn't move. Because if I left now, this awkward distance between us might become permanent.
"Hawthorn."
"Zale."
We spoke at the same time.
"You first," I managed.
His hands stilled on the bread he was slicing. "About last night."
This was it. He was going to tell me it was great but we shouldn’t do it again. I could hear the regret in his voice.
"Yeah," I said quickly, wanting to get in first before he gave his speech about it being him not me. "We should probably talk about that."
Hawthorn’s dark eyes were guarded and I couldn't read what he was thinking. My wolf wanted me to get closer and to recapture what we'd had last night. But I stayed where I was.
"I don't want you to feel pressured," he said slowly. "You're still figuring out your life. I understand if you want to keep things simple."
Simple. That was the direction he was going. He was giving me an out by telling me he didn't expect anything from me. Last night didn't have to mean anything if I didn't want it to.
Disappointment weighed on my shoulders, almost crushing me. But what had I expected? That one night would changeeverything and he'd want the complications I'd spent weeks telling myself I couldn't handle?
"Right." I choked out. "That makes sense."
Hawthorn pressed his lips together but he nodded. "Good. I'm glad we're on the same page."
Were we? Because everything in me was saying that "simple" was the last thing I wanted. But I'd run from my family to avoid being told what to do with my life. I couldn't turn around and tie myself to someone else before I'd figured out who I was.
Hawthorn made my wolf howl with longing and the thought of leaving brought tears to my eyes.
