I thought killing someone would be the weirdest thing to happen tonight.
Seven
Just swear you won’t tell him before the Mulvaney Christmas dinner and we will release you.
Jordan
And if I don’t?
Seven
Then I start a whole separate group chat about you and Cree minus Cree.
Jordan
You people are fucking crazy. You’re blackmailing me into betraying my best friend by threatening to ship me with your friend.
Mal
Betrayal seems like a strong word. We’re asking you not to volunteer that you know who he slept with, not sell him out to a hostile foreign regime.
Levi
Yeah, we have Calliope for that.
Jordan
Ever
Let’s talk this through. What will Matty do if he finds out his anonymous hookup is Lake. Lake who is going to be at every family function ever? Including Christmas?
Jordan
Not go?
Shiloh
Exactly.
Seven
Thomas will invite you because you’re family. But you won’t be able to go either cause you’re loyal to your bestie and wouldn’t abandon him on Christmas.
Jordan
So? Missing rubber chicken and green beans isn’t exactly a hardship.
Ever
Do you really want to miss out on the Mulvaney Christmas swag bag?
Jordan
The what?
Silas
Oooh, those are good.
